Going fallow

I have a head for business and a body for sin. Unfortunately, the sin appears to be gluttony.

–Jenny Colgan

 

Curiosity is gluttony. To see is to devour.

–Victor Hugo

 

The other night, as I was binge watching “the Shahs of Sunset,” I decided something: my brain is more disengaged than I would like it to be. I  haven’t been reading  anything (much), I have no projects going that I’m longing to complete, I haven’t been writing.  My brain has been-to borrow a farming term-fallow.

Is that good or bad?

Spending more time watching the messed up lives of a bunch of wealthy Los Angeles Iranians is not something I aspire to, although I do love Asa’s caftan collection and the over the top gold jewelry they all wear. I don’t like to “should” myself, but I really should find something better to do with my time than this. At the very least, make something while I’m watching?

The lack of a creative outlet for my imagination and hands is dangerous for me. Mentally and physically dangerous. Left to my own devices without the ability to imagine things and implement them in some way,  I’m the living embodiment of “satan finds work for idle hands…” and not even in ways that are interesting. I mean, if I’m going to be self destructive it should at least be interesting.

The sad truth of all of my bad habits is that they are very dull. No one wants to hear about gluttony or sloth. They are the least sexy of the Seven Deadly Sins. Perhaps I should try wrath, vainglory or greed?   I already have a tinge of lust, pride and sorrow.

I’m certainly not giving up lust or melancholy. I’m a November girl and Scorpio has got to  scorp!

Avarice/greed  is not my thing at all.

Do you suppose I should try to work toward vainglory? I do have a very high opinion of myself, but it’s offset by an equally low opinion of myself. I suspect I could get to vainglory eventually, but I might need some therapy to boost my ego a bit. Or is it my id that’s deficient?

Wrath? Occasionally. I can be irritable if I think people are stupid, but to get up a good smoldering ire takes a long time for me. It’s generally something people have earned. I could probably achieve wrath, but I’m not sure it’s a lifestyle I could truly embrace.

Maybe I should work on the sins I already have before trying to get new ones.

Wait, what?

I’m not supposed to increase the number of sins in my life? I’m supposed to decrease them?? Who says? Everybody? Well, that’s silly.  What do you mean, I went on a tangent?

Apparently, I was saying something about my brain going fallow.

At least lack of mental discipline is not one of the Seven Deadly Sins….but I will try to do a better job of not letting my brain and body turn into marshmallow fluff from now on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My ideal Elvis set list 

The other day I was listening to an old interview of Elvis on the Howard Stern Show, and now everythin’ that ends in ing sounds like Elvis. You know how it is. You’re listnin’ along, smilin’ at all the great songs..and without even noticin’ that it’s happenin’ all the g’s have fallen off your gerunds. 

It’s enbarassin’ really. 

I’m goin’ to see Elvis with the person who first introduced me to the music of the One True Elvis, and when we were discussin’ where to have dinner before the show, KelBel asked me what songs I wanted to hear. And that is a really hard question. There is such a long list. 

So I was thinkin’ about the ideal set list. There are songs he has to play, so we know that Alison and some detectives will be there. He’s got to play some of his more recent stuff so he doesn’t get bored. 

Here’s what I think:
Start with Pump it Up. It will drive the crowd wild, and he won’t have to do a lick of work the rest of the night 
Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes for me. This is the one I would be most disappointed not to hear, even though it breaks my heart a little bit to hear it at all. 

Lipstick Vogue for what’s his name

Sulphur to Sugar Cane

Something from North, like Someone Took the Words Away or Let Me Tell You About Her

My Science Fiction Twin

Uncomplicated

I Want You

You’d need some Peace, Love and Understanding or Shipbuilding

Am I Blue

Beyond Belief

Stella Hurt

Mystery Dance

Veronica

And then I just just sort of surrender. There are just too many songs. He can’t play them all.  I’ll be there with some of my favorite guys in the world, and it will be great no matter what. 

But, still. There better be red shoes. 

Sweet dreams are not made of this…

The other night I dreamt that I was at a party with my friend Andi at her late friend Kathy’s house.

Kathy was living in an enormous, gorgeous tree house. Although there was a loud party going on and the tree house was full of people, she kept telling us that we couldn’t tell anyone where she lived because Russian terrorists were after her.

The huge, brightly lit palace in the sky seemed like a very odd choice for someone trying to hide. You could probably see it from Mars.

Even more strangely, the treehouse was in a tree on the edge of a small forest set in a post apocalyptic urban setting full of burned out buildings.  Lots of burning tires, and grime. It was just across the street from the Russian terrorist’s lair, a seedy auto shop. You could tell it was their hangout because of all of the Russians loitering around in front of it talking smack in Russian.

Back at the party, Andi gave me two enormous inflatable dog beds and asked me to blow them both up. The longer I tried to blow them up, the larger they seemed to get. I kept getting dizzy, and would sit down thinking they were finally done, but then the edges would unfurl just..a little…more.

Andi was getting a little annoyed that it was taking so long. She kept telling me they would be serving dinner as soon as I finished blowing up the damn dog beds. All of the other guests were giving me a hard time.

Finally, I handed one of them to someone who was making fun of me. “You try it, smart ass.”  Of course, it took him about 5 minutes.

Andi shook her head at me, and said it was just one little favor. She just wanted the Adorkables to have a place to lay down during the party. Surely I could do just that one little thing.

But I couldn’t.
Andi better not bring inflatable dog beds to Cap’n Crunch Brunch. If she does, she can blow them up herself!