Michelle’s House of Horror

Yes, my brother Ken has finally gone and gotten married. Congratulations to Ken and his lovely new wife Nicole. I guess all those trips to the pharmacy to flirt with her finally paid off for Ken. They had the brilliant idea of renting a giant house near Lake Tahoe and having everyone go there for the wedding. I finally got to meet my brothers friends, and find out for myself what cool people they are! We are talking serious numbers of medically trained people here: nurses, pharmacists, and dental hygienists galore. At any moment in time, there were always at least 3 people in the house who could intubate me. That’s a reassuring thing.

We’re just starting to post pictures over at the “family photo album” so head on over and look! In the meantime, here are a couple to show how Mark’s excellent instruction results in pretty pictures.

Taking formal wedding photos requires a LOT of instruction:

The instructions are worth it when everyone turns out looking like this:

It seems like such a good idea, but somehow the fireman looks like he’s had a few too many generic beers to drink, and had to strip down to his wife-beater because he got chili on his good shirt.

If you want to see a REALLY hunky firefighter, go here. This man is the definition of the term.

In other important news, if you Google the term hunky firefighters my blog is the 9th hit.

and usually that’s just in a metaphorical way, I admit. On Thursday, one the hospitals I work at would like to *actually* treat people like crap–they are being invited to walk through the SUPER COLON. It is described as an inflatable 20ft long replica of the real thing. Its purpose in life is teaching people about colorectal cancer. A goal I certainly will not mock, since my Gram died of it.

The kid in me will not be appeased, however, and who among you can blame me? C’mon–they’re having a giant poop shoot at my work and they want me to walk in it! Ewwwwww!!!

Also, Super Colon sounds like a really weird Super Hero…and I’m not going to comment on that aspect of the giant inflatable colon at all.

I may have gone a little bit overboard on the BMFA yarn projects. That is, if you think that it is excessive to have four projects on the needles in the same brand of yarn.

Here they all are, in their unfinished glory:

Isn’t the yarn beautiful?

Here’s my Wicked, knit in STR heavyweight, Ruby Slippers colorway:

Wicked actually still has my mostly full attention, and is progressing nicely.

Next in line is my sock club sock for April, the Grasshopper. His only flaw is that he is slow knitting, and I really don’t enjoy knitting socks. Why a sock club, then? The yarn, people, the yarn. I may have a mild addiction to BMFA yarns. Here is Grasshopper, and I am very much afraid that he may be going to the frog pond soon:

And then there’s my poor Red Licorice Swirl socks. Well, sock. It is languishing, poor thing, and it’s not the sock’s fault. It’s mine. I am a bad sock knitter who is easily distracted by more exciting projects like sweaters and shawls. Red Licorice is being knit out of the elusive Sock Candy yarn:

Icarus hasn’t done a thing wrong, either, but is also at the bottom of the WIP pile. It is certainly not a lack of love for the yarn, which is Seduction in (I think) the Neptune colorway. It is lovely to work with.

The really pitiful thing is that these are not my only WIPs. These are only my Blue Moon WIPs. There are more than a couple of non-Blue Moon projects which I am also, um, knitting. If you can call it knitting when the projects are in a room I never actually enter. Bad knitter.

Paulie is post-basic, and in training at Ft. Knox for another 3 months or so. He is learning how to service Abrams tanks, which have diesel engines in them, so he is doing quite well in training, and may already have acquired his expert designation in the material. It’s great that he is finally doing something he can feel good about, and something he can excel at. Even though there are obviously feelings that I have about the military-industrial complex etc that I won’t go into, and which don’t lessen how happy I am that he is finally doing well. So well he got a pass to actually go off base tomorrow. Woo and hoo!

My charming spouse and I have requested some days of much needed weekend time at the beach this summer. Thank the heavens for friends with beach houses! Since his boss has more or less said “no vacations this Summer” we will need short, frequent breaks to maintain our sanity.

The 2008 candidates for Prez are “demeaning the presidency” says the man who took out a contract on America back in the ’90′s. Putting aside my opinions on any of said candidates, I just wonder what sort of “wave of reform” Newt is planning on putting into action before he declares his own entry into the race? I wonder if it will have anything to do with secularism destroying America’s character as a nation? Nothing says “character” like leaving your cancer stricken wife for another woman while she is in the hospital, and having extramarital affairs, right?

At long last, the “reverend” Jerry Falwell has been called home to make an accounting of himself to whoever is running Heaven these days. If my suspicions are correct, that will be immediately followed by an express ride to the lower levels of H.E.doublehockeysticks where he will be spending quality time with some of his peers.

I’ve been trying to think of a kind thing to say about the man. You know, now that he has expired and all. I keep thinking of Tinky Winky, his post-9/11 remarks about how gays and lesbians brought on the attack, and how he was so instrumental in bringing on the Reagan years. About the kindest remark I have for Jerry Falwell is “don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

Your legacy of gay-bashing and anti-liberal paranoid ranting will not be missed.

In this months issue of “Vanity Fair” there is a picture of a $465 Hermes beach towel. While I must say that the beach towel is quite attractive in a beach-towelly way, I am really wondering just what a beach towel can do to be worth $465? And just how much money does a person have to have to make spending that much money for a towel seem like a good use of the funds?

Good heavens above, I’ve figured out how to put up a poll. The world may never be quite the same again!

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