An imaginary conversation about scaring the natives

Can I ask you something?

Oh god. 

It isn’t anything awful. 

You’ll ask anyway. 

True. Well. No. 


No, I wouldn’t ask if you said no, but I’d be annoyed. 


So are you going to answer, or would you rather annoy me?

Can I reserve the right to decide until after I hear the question?

I suppose that is fair. 

So, what’s the question?

Can you name some qualities about me that men I date would find good and bad?

Good? Smart, funny, likes football and other sports, spontaneous, can sing, likes good food, knows lots of interesting facts about stuff, beer…

I’ve had several guys tell me I seem great but they don’t date women who like football. What’s the bad?

Possible freak inducing qualities: very open about deep, dark thoughts… Might reference you in a blog that includes aforementioned thoughts… Lots of male friends… Laughs at just about everything, Cries about just about everything…

Crying I get, but why would laughing freak someone out?

You could be laughing at him. Men are sensitive about that. 

Huh. Good to know. 

Anything surprising to you other than that?

Not really. There have already been issues because I have male friends. 



Why do you need to know?

Just curious. 

You don’t need to change yourself to attract men. 

I am not. I just wonder what freaks them out sometimes.  Thanks. 

You’re welcome. 

I’ve been thinking about it. You didn’t include that I am wordy and overthink everything. 

You’re arguing with my list?

No. Yes. A little. 

Fine. Add wordy, over-thinking and relentless to both pros and cons. 


You don’t think you are?



Yeah. You’re right I am. 

I’m right?

I am pretty good about saying when someone else is right. 

I’m going to let that pass.  


Can I ask you a question now?

Of course!

Do you think maybe you are taking men’s reactions to you too personally?

Yes, probably. I try not to, but when the rejections come in multiples I do wonder. 

Maybe you should take a step back and just be happy without worrying about men and what they think about you. 

Maybe. But I like men. 

I know you do. Maybe you just need to focus on good stuff in your life. 

I do! That is why I keep stepping back from dating, when I start feeling jaded. It’s just…


I have stuff I need to figure out about what is not going well, so I write about it. The stuff that is going well doesn’t need to get figured out. It’s already working. 

Just saying that a little more concentrating on the positive couldn’t hurt. 

You’re right. 

Twice in one night?

Hush up. One thing that I am definitely feeling very good about are all of my friends and family. 

You know good people. 

I definitely do. Present company included.