I recently met someone in person who I have been talking to online for a few months on a very regular basis. You can interpret “regular basis” as pretty much every day since the beginning, ramping up gradually to a few hours a day in the last three weeks.
As we started to talk about the logistics of possibly meeting each other in person, we discussed a lot of things we’d been talking about for weeks. We talked about how similar and different we are, what obstacles we might run into along the way, what things in our personalities might make the obstacles not matter quite so much, and how we’d gradually started to form a bond even without meeting. We also agreed that we have such compatible communication styles that even if sparks didn’t fly we would probably remain good friends.
At some point I mentioned that I never extended my dating search as far as Seattle, and he was outside of the age range I normally put in my search. He should not have shown up in my list of matches at all. His profile was full of things that would make me shy away from contacting someone. Still. He showed up in my match list somehow, and for some reason I sent him a message in spite of the distance and other reasons not to.
He teased me about how even though I like to think the world is all science and physicality, he thinks there is a place for magic in life, and that it was plain that kismet had thrown us in each other’s path. The only way to find out what chemistry had to say about it would be to just meet in person. Kismet and chemistry have to work together.
When we found a date that worked for both of us to me to drive up to meet him, I got to wondering when we’d started talking exactly so I went and re-read our first day of messages. I sent him the first message about 10 weeks ago. I didn’t go back and re-read any conversational threads, but one thing jumped out at me. He lives on an island near Seattle. The first time we chatted online, I joked about how if I was a more strategic dater, I’d make sure I treated him well so I’d have a place to stay on the island all Summer. He replied that he was not into strategic dating, but was holding out for kismet and chemistry, and a life replete with ellipses.
Ellipses are my favorite punctuation mark. I abuse them mercilessly. Obviously, I liked him immediately.
I sent him a screen capture of that part of our first chat, and we laughed about how kismet and chemistry seemed to be our destiny given our mutual fondness for ellipses.
Last weekend there was a drive, and a ferry ride and another bit of a drive to discover if the bond formed through writing words could be as strong in person as we thought it might be.
Chemistry, it appears, agreed with kismet in the matter and shot a bunch of sparks at us.
Some things require a lot of intervention from..something..in order to ever happen.
Sometimes you meet people who connect with you on a deeper than usual level for reasons you can’t quite put into words. In this case, words were the reason we connected. We will see where this goes, one step at a time.
Kismet and Chemistry.
They’d be good names for cats, we thought. The cats who stand guard over the Sea Monkey Museum that doesn’t exist, for instance. Anyone breaking into the museum that doesn’t exist would be transported by Kismet directly to the imaginary coin operated jail.
In addition to kismet and chemistry, sometimes you need some help from whimsy.
Which would also be a good name for a cat, but we can invent that one another day.