An imaginary conversation about sight seeing

i can’t believe you’re leaving before I had a chance to show you all of the official sights of my island..

Don’t you think I’ll be back?

You’ll definitely be back. 

Yes, I will. 

But I didn’t even take you to the lighthouse, or to see the bicycle in the tree, or the coffee roasterie or the Sea Monkey Museum. 

We can go to the lighthouse any time and …wait, there’s a Sea Monkey museum? Why was I not informed of this? Is it open on Sunday?

Well, that isn’t quite the reaction  I was expecting…



The King of the Sea Monkeys has a trident, you know. 

I don’t even know where to start..


I’m just going to have to say it. 


There isn’t really a Sea Monkey museum. 

Wait, you lied to me about something this important?

Really? It’s important?


It’s really disconcerting how excited you get about sea monkeys. 

Don’t you remember the ads in comic books? The king of sea monkeys had a crown! And a trident!

I’m really sorry that I started this. I mean, I am really sorry to disappoint you. 

Well, fuck. There needs to be a Sea Monkey Museum. Can we start one?

I am just a little taken aback by the direction this whole conversation has taken right now. 

So, I should stop yelling SEA MONKEYS?

Would you mind?

Not at all. 

Thank you. 

You’re welcome. 

The next time you are here, I will be a better host. 

How could you possibly have been a better host? I mean, aside from lying to me about the Sea Monkey Museum. That was a blow to my level of trust. 


NO. Of course not. 

That’s a relief. 

When can I come back?

Whenever you want. 

Will you get me some sea monkeys?

Do they still sell them?

Yes. I got some on Amazon for a co-worker last year!


She hadn’t ever had any before. It’s a whole story. 

Ah. Everything seems to be a story with you. 

Is that a bad thing?

No, no. I enjoy it. 

We also had a pet house fly named Ruprecht. 

Of course you did. 

That’s also a story. 

I figured as much. 

Let me know if you want to hear it. 

Soon. Right now I am going to make you stop talking. 

How are you going to….ohhhh! Yes.