My work BFF is moving to a different team and my heart is broken.
Aren’t you happy for her?
Yes. I am super excited, and it is a fantastic move for her! But she sits next to me now and I love her and next week she won’t be there anymore. She’ll be over a mile away.
You will talk to her all the time. You can IM each other all the gossip.
I feel like an abandoned spouse.
There are way worse things happening at work right now that you can freak out over.
The other upheaval at work is scary and it’s also something I am totally fretting about in my own quiet way, but this is an emotional work disaster. That is much worse.
Have you been crying at work again?
No. Yes. Maybe a little. We both did. And I learned that she is a Taurus. That explains why she is my work BFF.
Uh, it does?
Totally. Because I am a Scorpio.
Which means?
Since we are astrological opposites, we have a great synergy in which we can TOTALLY handle all of each other’s weird shit without batting an eyelash.
Such as?
None of your business.
I thought opposites would tend to butt heads…
No, but OMG MAYBE WE WILL NOW THAT WE WILL POTENTIALLY HAVE DIFFERENT WORK GOALS!!!
Seriously?
Nah. I was being melodramatic. We’ll still have very similar goals. Don’t roll your eyes at me.
I can’t help it.
It’s involuntary?
No, you’re being irrational. I thought you were all science based. Astrology is total garbage.
Oh, I know it is.
But you still believe it in this case?
Uh. Not exactly. I just believe that I am a total Scorpio which is the best sign, and that Taurus is the second best sign.
Because?
Just..because.
It’s about sex, isn’t it.
Sex, power, money and death. But ewwww not at the same time! At least not the death part.
Of course not. Weirdo.
Creep.