An imaginary conversation about vampires and consent.

Do you think it’s possible to give consent if one of the people can glamor you into believing anything they want?

What’s our context here?

Vampires.

You’ll have to refresh my memory — I don’t have your abiding love of all things fanged.

In many traditions, vampires can gaze into your eyes and either convince you to do their bidding or mess with your memory so you don’t remember encountering them.

OK…

With all of the discussion about consent in the media right now, I just wonder if it is even possible for a vampire to have a consensual relationship with a non-vampire who they could glamor into sex or biting or whatever.

I understand now.

Good. What is your opinion?

Vampires don’t exist.

Of course not, but if they did?

But they don’t.

Indulge my flight of fancy here.

But it’s silly.

Is it? Why?

Because you don’t need to know the ethical ramifications of  something that can’t ever happen.

It could have other implications in real life, don’t you think?

No. No I don’t.

You are staggeringly un-whimsical.

I like to think of it as sane.

Pffffft.

One thing I will say about you: you do come up with the oddest ideas.

Thanks.

Was that a compliment? I’m not even sure myself.

It was. You hate to be bored.

True.

What about if there is something about them that compels you to think about them? Like drinking their blood, or their drinking yours? If a big chunk of their sexuality leads to your essentially being drugged into wanting them?

This is important to you why now?

I’m curious, and I just re-watched TrueBlood.

Have you met a vampire that you are hoping to get to know better?

No, vampires don’t exist. Besides, the amount of laundry required would be overwhelming.

Laundry?

All that blood. It would soak through the sheets and ruin a mattress in no time. There’s not a vampire-proof mattress pad available.

Seriously?

Yes.

Uh…

I said that I realize that vampires aren’t real.

Oh, good.

But the logistics and ethics are interesting to me.

The logistics and ethics of an imaginary relationship with an imaginary type of being.

Yes. And stop looking at me like I’m crazy.

I don’t think you’re crazy. Just odd.

In a good way.

Well.

In. A. Good. Way.

Of course. Wait, did you just try to glamor me?

Did it work?

I kind of want to ravish you…

Huh..

Why? What were you trying for?

Ravishing works.