An imaginary conversation about obsessing

Should I accept that I am someone who obsesses over things or try to change it?

That’s quite a launching point for a chat.

Sorry. Hi. How are you?

Good thanks. You?

Obsessing. You?

Shaking my head. Thanks for asking.

You’re welcome.

You’re weird.

No shit.

What are you obsessing about today, anyway?

No one, nothing in particular

I am not sure I believe that–why are you bringing up the topic then?

I am wondering where the line is between an obsession being harmless distraction and self-sabotage.

So you’re obsessing about whether obsessing is automatically a bad thing.

Yes. And if, by extension, I should try to eliminate the behavior like I would if it was something like excessive masturbation or alcohoolism.

I’m not even sure where to start with that.

Just pretend I didn’t bring up masturbation.

What are your preliminary findings?

Probably not, but it’s risky.

You probably shouldn’t masturbate excessively?

I told you just to pretend I didn’t mention that.

You think that your obsessiveness might be a bad habit that you should correct.

Right. Maybe. Except that it launches me into thoughts and creative directions that I like. And for the record, I do not masturbate excessively.

What is excessively?

More than I do.

Of course. So what are the pros and cons?

Of  excessive masturbation?

Right. No! Of obsessing about things!

It gets me to really focus on something deeply. Which is great, since I tend to be terrible at concentrating.

But?

But it’s usually not on whatever task I might really need to be working on.

For instance?

For instance, I might spend a week revamping my blog instead of reading technical material for a certification exam at work.

Not good.

Or writing an imaginary conversation about excessive masturbation instead of doing laundry.

Clean underwear is overrated.

Hygiene is crucial, but maybe sometimes a person can go commando in an emergency.

Well…

My point, if I have one, is that is it really so bad to come up with imaginary conversations instead of cleaning?

Not unless you stop cleaning entirely, and you always have a point.

I do?

Sometimes a sharp one.

Huh. I thought I was rambling.

You ramble with ulterior motives.

What sort of ulterior motive could I possibly have for asking if I obsess about things too much?

You could be trying to get me to tell you that you do.

Why would I do that? It would take the fun out of obsessing about it myself. I mean, deciding for myself.

Uh-huh.

You’re very doubting.

Maybe you want someone to absolve you of your weirdness.

No one can do that.

Not even me?

Not even you. Especially not you.

Why especially?

Because you will barely even give me an opinion about things. Also, you are not weird at all.

Yeah, well you always say “both” and “maybe” to everything. And while you do like to listen and discuss, you seldom take anyone’s advice.

Perhaps…but I do like to hear the options.

See?

You aren’t very likable sometimes.

More likable than you are.

Really?

Well, yes.

Damn!

Or maybe I am just more approachable to a variety of people.

Is that a polite way of calling me an insane bitch?

I would love to reply “yes” to that, but you’d kill me.

No, but I might poke you gently with a fork. I’d miss you if you were dead.

If you kill me, you mean.

I’d miss you regardless of how you died.

That’s…uh…

Sweet.

No, that’s not what I was going for..but sure. Sweet.

I am, though.

Yes, you are. Do you think maybe you could try a little harder to stay on task for things that are essential while still letting your mind wander when you don’t have important work to do?

That’s awfully logical of you. And  yes, I could try harder. I hardly try at all currently.

You say that like it’s something horrible.

No, just a little…I don’t know…

Say it.

Prosaic.

I was expecting something worse.

Soul killing?

There we go.

But it wouldn’t kill my soul.

No, it wouldn’t.

It would dent it a little.

I thought you didn’t believe in souls.

Not a literal soul. But sort of metaphorical one. The thing that makes a person who they are, not a literal thing that weighs 28 grams.

Don’t you think that you’re quibbling?

Don’t I always?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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