Tragedy and penises

It has not escaped me that my blog posts which get the most views fall into two categories:

  1. The ones dealing frankly with emotional struggles, near tragedy, financial problems and general strife
  2. The ones dealing with penises and masturbation

If I could combine the two into one post involving some sort of emotional trauma caused by or resolved by penises and/or masturbation, my blog viewership increase dramatically. It could take over the world!

Alas, I have no such current trauma to report and in my single state am unlikely to encounter any penises in the near future. As always, I will naturally keep the blog posted if I do encounter any.

Update: since starting to write this post, i have encountered a very promising penis but still have no penis related emotional trauma to report. I’m sure given my history there could be soon, but he appears to have very honorable intentions in spite of the penis. He’s got every appearance of being a good guy.

I could say something about enjoying some forms of trauma, but my mother could be reading this so I will skip that for now.

To summarize, there was really no reason for this post at all except to use the word penis repeatedly in a completely gratuitous manner. I probably should also mention masturbation in the summary paragraph since it was in the opener but I just don’t have it in me.

Sorry. I didn’t sleep much last night.