Me: maybe I should do something productive now.
Also me: define productive first.
So what do I do when I feel guilty about not doing anything productive with my day? Well. It’s a process.
First, I have a popsicle. It’s hot outside, and I just picked up groceries and then took an hour long walk in the park. I need a popsicle.
Then, I remember it’s time for lunch, so I have a little something to eat because I can’t be productive if I am hungry. For one thing, I have a pesky habit of fainting if I am hungry or dehydrated.
Then, I remember that link sausages no longer agree with me.
Then, I brush my teeth and get some water. I’m still hungry. I get a protein shake, since my stomach is being uncooperative today.
Then I sit down at my workbench and admire a bracelet I worked on yesterday and post it on Instagram. It’s very pretty, by the way. Copper. Celtic knots etched on it.
Then I look at the floor, which really wants cleaning, and I start up the Roomba, but it isn’t charged. Again. I’ve kicked the power plug loose. Again. Well, I swept yesterday. It’s fine, except that apparently I am no longer smart enough to plug in an appliance.
I wonder if I should be concerned about it.
Maybe I should watch a movie? No, that’s definitely not productive.
Maybe I should go back outside and try to ride my bike which just got tuned up? I look at the thermostat. No, I should wait for 13 to get home so he can call an ambulance if I either faint from the heat or crash. Again.
Have I mentioned that since crashing on my bike 3 years ago, I am terrified of riding it and might need psychoanalysis about it?
Then I decide to post about it. The productivity thing, not the fear of biking thing. Though, really, which is more important? Being a little unproductive or having an irrational fear? Is my sanity really in question?
I tell myself that being afraid of riding my bike is not really irrational given the number of times I’ve fallen off of it for no apparent reason. It could be that my bike is beset by demons. Is that a common issue with Trek bicycles, I wonder?
I decide not to Google that.
Realize that being me is a full time job, and requires a lot of confessional and self analytical writing. Requires? Well. No, not really. I don’t have to do this. I could stop writing and be REALLY nuts. Trust me, this is better.
There could still be a few people out there who think I’m actually sane. The ones who haven’t met me.
So I guess my point is: what is a productive way to spend my day?
Then I accidentally post this before it’s actually finished. So, does that mean this was a waste of time? This is all very complicated.
I think I will just look at a picture of GingerBelle’s new puppy on Facebook….whatever being productive is, I’m sure it’s overrated. I got groceries. I exercised. I thought about cleaning. I’m good for now.