Taking “things” personally

Guys, you might want to skip this one because I’m going to talk about a subject you might not appreciate: male impotence.

There was a stretch in my life where several guys I dated in a row were impotent. Not just slow to arise, but…just…nothing going. I am sure it was difficult for them, but it was also not great for my self-esteem because when I was younger I assumed that any performance issues must be because of me. Looking at the various situations now, it’s clear it wasn’t. One guy had a taste for cocaine, another for booze…another was on medication to prevent hair loss that seemed to be doing more to prevent erections than hair loss…but I always wondered if there was something I could have been doing differently. Hair loss product guy was the only one who told me about the issue ahead of time, and he promised he had ways of coping with the issue. I appreciated the warning, and also the methods he’d developed to cope with the issue. He was only 25, and I know girls like thick hair, but straight girls like a hard cock even more. I hope he quit taking it and got his mojo back, because he had some serious talent in other ways that would only have been enhanced by functional male hardware.

Did I really just say that? I hope my mother isn’t reading this.

Well. It’s true.

What a rational person would have learned from this run of sexual bad luck in the late 90’s is that it’s really common for guys to have issues with performance. No one has ever called me rational. Wait, that’s not true. I’ve actually had “stop being so RATIONAL” hurled at me like an insult.

Not sure what my point is there, except that I have a tendency to blame myself for things that have nothing to do with me at all. I’m not sure if that means I think the world revolves around me or if I am just completely devoid of self esteem. Or both.

Not sure what my point was there, either.

Some guys deal with impotence very well. Others hint that they never have problems with other women so it must be you. Others pretend there is nothing wrong, which is frustrating for everyone involved. It takes vastly more skill in diplomacy than I possess to gently ask what is up when something isn’t up.

Hair loss product guy treated the issue with honesty and a direct approach, which I appreciated. It helped that he had done a lot of research on pleasing alternatives, but ultimately I’m not sure if it would have become a problem if we’d stayed together longer. I often felt guilty that he never got to have an orgasm, although he seemed to be enjoying himself as much as I was. It had nothing to do with our breakup in any case. Kudos to him for handling it with such grace at such a young age.

Cocaine guy who blamed it all on me? Repressed drunk who pretended there was no problem? Maybe I could give you the other guy’s number and he could give you some tips.

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