Say what?

My mind swirls around. Whorls, whirls
Hurricane cyclone vortex
Ideas words imaginary conversations fall down to the bottom
And float into the whirl again

Conversations that never happened
Wish they had not
Wish they would
Harsher words
Kinder words
More loving
More hateful
More tearful
More forgiveness?

What do you do when you aren’t talking to me?
I think of you.
You do?
All the time
No you don’t.
Not really.
So why did you say it?
To make you happy. Why did you ask if you knew the answer?
Because I didn’t. Not really. I’d like to think that I’m all you think about, but I’m not insane.
I do think of you. But
It’s sexual.
Is that bad?
Not in my mind it isn’t.
It’s OK in your mind, but not in person?
No, it’s good in person too.
You have ethical reservations about thinking about sex or having sex in real life?
So, what’s the problem then?
I don’t know. I don’t let it bother me.
That bothers me. Why can’t you let yourself be bothered?
I don’t know.
You don’t try very hard to know.
That worries me.
Don’t be.
Not worries, frustrates.
I think you like that.
Maybe. Yes.

What are you listening to?
An Italian song. Listen…
Nice. How’d you find out about them?
In Italy.
In Italy?
Sure, a friend played them for me one day.
Yeah. He played them for me on the day we met.
Just a friend?
Just? Friends are important.
What? Why do you look so dubious?
Is he gay?
Gay? No, why?
If you’re friends. You didn’t fuck him?
It’s not a difficult question.
You can’t you call someone a friend if you’ve fucked them?
Why not?
Because then you aren’t friends, you are lovers.
You can’t be both?
Not with someone you want to fuck.
That’s asinine.
No. Realistic.
So fuck buddies are a myth?

Where are you?
It’s 6 in the morning. Where do you think?
Did I wake you up?
Of course. It’s 6 in the morning.
Can you meet me?
Right now?
I’m at the bar down the street.
Doing what? They’re closed until lunch.
I have a few hours until my first meeting. Come and talk to me.
You aren’t going to break up with me in the parking lot, are you?
What? No. What? Can you come?
Sure. I’ll jump in the shower and be right there.
No, now.
Can I brush my teeth?
Yes. Brush your teeth. I know you won’t brush your hair.
I could just stay in bed.
Hurry up.