This is something I hate.
Getting behind in my reading.
On the one hand, I love having unread books.
On the other…ugh….err….unread! Danger, danger!
Must…read…
But…
Life gets in the way.
It’s been well documented that I have had a very very fuzzy several months, intellectually. Personal upheaval will do that to a person. Insomnia will do that to a person. Excessive introspection, perhaps.
I know WHY I am reading less. It’s the same reason I am having so much trouble writing coherently. No, it isn’t your imagination. I am frequently not particularly clear.
It has gotten a little bit better. I am reading again, just not as voraciously as usual, not as intelligently as usual either. Do I just need to be patient with myself? Like that’s ever going to happen!
There are only so many trashy novels I can stand reading.
I have, in the “unread” folder on my Kindle, 41 books.
That is a lot, even for me.
And reading is pretty important to me, so when people who are interested in my well being indicate to me that I need to get out more and meet people…well…it’s a conflict.
I work full time.
I write about 2 hours a night.
I cook and eat dinner.
I’d like to have an hour to read and decompress.
Maybe get some exercise.
I don’t have time to meet people. I am too busy exercising my brain.
What?
It’s true.
Maybe I can go out and meet people after football season. And yes, I can hear a certain person pointing out that I only watch college football, and my team doesn’t have a game until January 1st which leaves me plenty of weekend time for meeting people.
I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna.
Couldn’t I just put up a sign or something that says “if you’re nice, stop by and have a beer with me?”
No?
I suppose it wouldn’t be very safe. Or likely to result in my meeting the best quality of people.
Speed dating? I could meet 15 people in a few hours and get rejected by a bunch of guys at once! That would be super fantastic. Yes, I am assuming it would go badly. I am not someone who is immediately appealing. Still, it seems like such a bizarre idea, that I feel compelled to do it. Maybe when I am single next month.
An escort service? Can’t afford it.
Online dating? The idea of doing it again makes me whimper. On the other hand, I did meet a lot of people. Some pretty awesome ones, like Mark.
Church? Atheist.
Meet Ups? An option. There doesn’t appear to be one specifically for women with a thing for Northern Italians though. Seems like kind of a big flaw.
Full of excuses? Absolutely. Meeting new people is outside my comfort zone. Which means I have to fucking force myself to do it. And I will.
Grumble grumble grumble.
You know what I need? I need a host. Someone to go places with me and introduce me to people. Like they used to have in the public rooms in places like Bath.
This is going nowhere at an impressive clip.
It might be time to bail out.
Sleepy. Scatterbrained.
Signing off..
Sorry for the mess.