Lately I have been having a hell of a time making up my mind about something. Assuming my expectations are unreasonable. Assuming I am wrong. Not really knowing what I want. Whenever I am faced with a decision and an answer isn’t obvious, I like to make a list. Or maybe I just like making lists in general. This one helped me sort some things out for myself.
What I was trying to figure out is what I want from a man. Most of these would apply to either a friend or a lover…but obviously some are intended for someone I’d be involved with on a very intimate level.
So what do I want? Everything, if I look at this list.
Someone who worries about me and wants to know I’m safe, even though he knows I can take care of myself.
Someone who will tell me what he wants. Even if he is afraid I won’t like it.
Someone who is willing to discuss things. Even hard things.
Someone who doesn’t play games with the difference between factual and honest.
Someone who can simultaneously love me for my independence while making me feel like I am all his.
Someone who isn’t afraid to be silly. Bonus points for singing to me in public.
Someone who makes time for me, even when he’s busy. Someone who makes seeing me a priority.
Someone who lets me show him how important he is to me, and shows me how important I am to him.
Someone who is very tactile. Who touches and likes to be touched. Who maybe has a hard time keeping his hands off of me. Someone I can reinvent the kiss with. Someone who will hold onto me.
Someone who will let me be alone for short periods so I can do my introverted soul recharging thing. But not TOO long.
Someone who is maybe just a little jealous of my men friends but trusts me enough not to mind that I spend time with them..and even likes them.
Someone assertive and decisive in a kind way.
Someone who is not dismissive. Of me, of my ideas, of my life.
Someone who wants me to know him, and wants to know me. Someone who sees the real me, and lets me see the real him.
Someone who understands that there are times when I really like someone to take control.
Someone who laughs with me and makes me laugh, but also makes me think and helps me grow.
Someone who has a nickname for me that is mine alone. Not babe or sweetheart.
Someone who loves me because of all my weirdness and not in spite of it.
Someone who can’t wait to tell me about things that happen in his day.
Someone who not only loves me completely but also likes me.
Someone to exchange things we don’t like doing with. If I clean the gutters, he will find out what the noise under the house was.
Someone who follows through. Someone who does what he says he will do. Someone who is honorable.
Someone who is there for me.
Someone who tastes and smells good.
Someone who doesn’t freak out if I cry.
Someone who doesn’t freak out if I get angry.
Someone who will stand his ground with me and argue with me if I am being unkind or unreasonable.
Someone who doesn’t let me kick myself in the ass unless I really deserve it.
Someone who is kind to me and to others.
Someone who will read with me. Someone who will read to me. And talk about what we read.
Someone with the gift of having fun doing nothing in particular.
Someone who loves music. Bonus points for being a musician. Extra bonus points for playing and singing with me.
Someone who will be honest with me even when he thinks I might not like it. Especially when he thinks I won’t like it.
Someone who doesn’t let me run away internally.
Someone who is willing to state a preference.
Someone who is always himself and who encourages me to be.