When I was single in the late 90’s, I tried online dating for the first time. It was sometimes challenging to determine if someone was actually interested. At one point, I was talking about that with someone I had not actually met yet. We decided that what we really needed was some sort of date review form to fill out.
This would include such important elements as initial chemistry, how much fun was had and so on. The form would be submitted after the initial date. If either party gave a poor review, the two parties would be blocked from each other and a note sent to each indicating that the reviews indicated that further dating would not be a good idea.
Obviously, that idea was fraught with disaster so we decided to do it on our first date. Our intention was to come up with some sort of paper form, but we never got around to it. We did it verbally instead when we were in the awkward standing around near our cars trying to decide if there should be kissing part of the date.
“Hey! What about the review?” He asked.
“I had a great time, but I’m not sure we’re a match made in heaven.” I said.
“You’re cute, and I had fun too. Let’s do it again sometime.” He replied.
And I got in my car and went home unkissed.
It flamed out, as wildly inappropriate relationships between poly guys and not poly girls do, particularly when the guy is 10 years younger and also a flake. But we had a great time.
And no, that was not the only time I came to an unusual pre-date agreement with someone over the phone. There was also a time when a potential date and I agreed to kiss before the date even started to keep us both from possibly wasting time. He was funny and smart… Note to self to follow up and see if he is still single.
It got me thinking about the idea of dating references. Not that long ago, families and friends would be the source of all dates, so you had a sort of built in source of information about people. Their parents vouched for him with your parents. Your mutual friends thought you might hit it off. There was less risk. Not of the relationship not working, but of actual disasters such as rape or other shady behavior. Chemistry can’t really be vouched for unfortunately.
Maybe we need some form of references for dating. Past romantic partners, friends and family could score someone and vouch for brains, wit, good character, General fun quotient and so on.
If nothing else, it would give me something else to obsess about.
I wonder what my references would be like? You’d all say good things about me, right? You wouldn’t bring up how I am a total nut job who enjoys overthinking everything as a hobby, right?