Inside Michelle’s Brain, episode 4

Those of you who know me pretty well know that I love pretty much all music with the exception of Country and Hip-Hop. I have been known to have seizures when forced to listen to anything with a twang.

The other day in the car, I was singing along with Patsy Cline.

Husband: “What’s with the twangy music? You should be having seizures by now.”

Me: “It’s Patsy Cline. Patsy Cline doesn’t count.”

Husband: “This is about as twangy as it gets.”

Me: “But it’s Patsy Cline.”

Husband: clunks head on dashboard.

What?!?

Getting a splinter out

 

I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.

–Jane Austen/Pride And Prejudice

 

Listen.

Slide the weight from your shoulders and move forward. You are afraid you might forget, but you never will. You will forgive and remember.

–Barbara Kingsolver/The Poisonwood Bible

 

On the first day of our vacation, I got a huge splinter in my index finger. Right under my fingernail. Yeah. Ouch. It was a big jagged hunk of wood, and it stabbed in about halfway into my nail. It pulled out easily (ewwww) and bled copiously (ewww) and hurt like a sombitch. I figured it would be better in a day or two.

It wasn’t.

It wasn’t terrible, but it hurt in that constantly irritating throbbing sort of way. It  looked fine, aside from the blood blister under the nail, but it  hurt. More than it seemed like it should. It still hurt when we got home a week later.  Then the blood blister rose to the top and all the skin came off the top of my finger along with it. The other thing that came out along with the skin was a quarter inch sliver of wood that had been in my finger the whole time.

A few hours later, my finger was almost completely pain free.

 

I think emotional hurt and forgiveness also  work something like that.

An emotional or spiritual injury might leave a  sliver of hurt in you. Until you can bring it to the surface and remove it, it will always hurt. It might not keep you from getting on with your life, but it’s a kind of a nagging pain that keeps you from being completely well as a person.

For a long time, I thought there were some things that are unforgivable. I’m not so sure about that now. Maybe you can let go of something and forgive without accepting it in your life anymore. Just because you forgive an abuser, you do not have to continue to accept abuse. It doesn’t mean you necessarily trust someone untrustworthy. It means you let go of it. You don’t use your energy on hating. You stop hitting back, either at yourself or the person who hurt you.

Not that it’s easy. Especially if the sliver is still inside of you.

Before anything can heal, the emotional splinter has to be found and removed.

Just like a physical one.

You remove the splinter, and there’s immediately less pain.

When there’s less pain, you can forgive.

With love and thanks to anyone who has provided tweezers when needed.
 

And beer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like a girl with a problem…

 

I won’t get any older, now the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

–Elvis Costello/Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes

 

I have over 12 pairs of red shoes. I stopped counting at 12.

Does that seem like a lot? It seems to me that I should have some more.

 

No angels have ever asked to wear them. Do you think Elvis made it up?

Some of them are pretty cute. I can understand why an angel would want to wear them. Popes have been wearing red shoes for years. Why should they have all the fun? Maybe angels gave them the idea, but then again, some of the recent red shoe popes got pretty old. Maybe they should have let the angels wear them after all.

The current pope doesn’t appear to be wearing the traditional red guccis. We’ll see if he ages at an decreased rate compared to other popes.

I will definitely consider it if an angel asks.

 

I wouldn’t have to let them wear all of my red shoes, would I, ’cause no one is wearing my red Frye boots but me!

 

 

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