As the worm turns, an imaginary conversation

You don’t scare me, you know.

Do too.

Aren’t you going to ask me why?



About why you aren’t scared of me?


You are scared of me. I terrify you.

Terrify is a strong word. Sometimes I don’t know quite what to make of you. Puzzled is different from scared.

Why are you puzzled?

You don’t react to things like a normal person. Conversation tends to go all wonky.

What do you mean?

Well, right now things are pretty normal. In a minute, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll say something bizarre.

Like what?

I dunno. I’m not the one who says the weird shit.



You say weird shit all the time!

No, you do.

You are the one who starts it though.

You said you voted for Pedro when we were talking about worms.

That’s not a good example. That conversation started out weird. We were talking about worms.

I started that one, didn’t I.


You may have a point.

I prefer to think of myself as well rounded. And don’t raise your eyebrow at me.

I can’t help it. It’s an autonomous nerve response, like breathing.

You made that up.


Isn’t that like lying?

No, it’s like storytelling.

Is it a fine line?

Did you think for even a second that the movement of my eyebrow is not something I am able to control?


Then it’s not a fine line.

That is NOT how that works.

I’m not the one who started talking about worms!

Tequila. You brought worms into it. Although it’s an admittedly logical progression.

See? Normal.

But then you started talking about someone’s second van the hospital.

Not my fault. That was the phone. I told you Siri does weird shit.

And it was funny.


What are we talking about, anyway?

Why you scare me.

Now you’re just making stuff up.


That’s my line.

You’ll share it though, right.

Only if you tell me a story.

Once upon a time?

That’s a start….