Me: if I get hit by a bus, please note that the urgent ticket is taken care of.
Co-worker: that seems unlikely, since we’re in the middle of the basement. Maybe a bus being transported by air could crash through the atrium.
Me: hmmm. It’s more likely that a helicopter would crash through the atrium and decapitate me.
Co-worker: that’s a way more rational scenario.
Other co-workers all nod in agreement.
Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?
It took me years to write, will you take a look?
It’s based on a novel by a man named Lear
And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer
–the Beatles/Paperback Writer
I have what some might consider an unreasonable number of unread books.
I have what some might consider an unreasonable number of books period.
Yes, I have heard of the public library. I’m a frequent customer.
Yes, I know I can’t read all the books.
No, I don’t know that through experience.
Yes, I read a lot.
Yes, I have a life.
Yes, I have a job.
Yes, I leave the house. C’mon. You’ve seen me at football games and in bars.
Where do I find the time? It’s important to me, and I love it. I make time. I steal time. I don’t cook or clean as often as I might. I don’t watch as much TV as some people. Sometimes I don’t get to sleep as much as I’d like because I’m soooo close to the end of a book.
What’s so great about reading? Whole new worlds that people invent to entertain me? Ideas I’d never have thought of on my own? Things that make me laugh. Things that make me cry? Things that make me angry. Places I might never know about? What’s NOT great about it? I don’t understand why people don’t all read.
These are some of the books on my Kindle that are not read yet. You don’t need to know about all of them, or about the ones on my physical bookshelves. One might argue that you don’t need to know about these either, but one should just shut up about that right now.
Don’t bother counting–there are 26.
Before you get all excited, no I won’t read all of these during my weeklong vacation. I’ll probably read one or two before I leave. I probably won’t feel like reading some of them while I’m on my vacation. I will end up reading about half of them, probably picking up a few others and then re-reading others for the zillionth time. I may never read some of them.
What are you reading that needs to be on my list?
Suggestions, anyone?
Happy Summer reading, y’all!
| The Cloud Atlas | Liam | Callanan |
| She-Wolves: The Women Who Ruled England Before Elizabeth | Helen | Castor |
| The Blood of Flowers: A Novel | Anita | Amirrezvani |
| The Irish Americans: A History | Jay P. | Dolan |
| The King of Kahel | Tierno | Tierno Monenembo |
| Before I Go To Sleep: A Novel | S. J. | Watson |
| Ladies Coupe | Anita | Nair |
| The Princes of Ireland: The Dublin Saga | Edward | Rutherfurd |
| Wool Omnibus Edition (Wool 1 – 5) | Hugh | Howey |
| The Child in Time (Ian McEwan Series) | Ian | McEwan |
| Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk: A Novel | Ben | Fountain |
| The Wanderer in Unknown Realms | John | Connolly |
| Odd Thomas | Dean | Koontz |
| Johannes Cabal the Necromancer | Jonathan L | Howard |
| The Taliban Cricket Club | Timeri | Murari |
| Ava Gardner: the Secret Conversations | Peter | Evans |
| The Wasp Factory | Iain | Banks |
| Smoking Ears and Screaming Teeth: A Celebration of Scientific Eccentricity and Self-Experimentation | Trevor | Norton |
| The Silver Linings Playbook | Matthew | Quick |
| Bossypans | Tina | Fey |
| The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements | Sean | Kean |
| Bag Of Bones | Stephen | King |
| Walking on Glass | Iain | Banks |
| The Orchardist | Amanda | Coplin |
| Cry, the Beloved Country | Alan | Paton |
She’s an Extraordinary girl
In an ordinary world
And she cant seem to get away
—Green Day
If this had been an actual poll, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official information, news or instructions.
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