Category: Random thoughts

Chaining up, or, what I did last night

Is there anything I enjoy doing that doesn’t cause pain in my arms and hands?
No. No, there isn’t. 

Not even that.  What dirty minds you all have!
Thursday night I enforced silence and decided to start a silver chain. Take a zillion tiny rings and start attaching them together…it’s maddening and fiddly. I enjoyed it. Meditative in the same way that spinning is. The fleece kind of spinning, not the bike kind. The bike kind is also meditative, but in a different way. 
This is what I got before my body told me to knock it off–a few inches of double link sterling chain. Cool, right? Yes, that is the lid of a Tupperware salad bowl acting as a work tray.

 

 
In addition to the physical pain, I also get to have a crick in my neck and eye strain. The eye strain was partial resolved by remembering that I have this head lamp thingie of Dad’s that has magnifying lenses. 

So sexy. Really. Have you ever seen anything sexier, ever, in your whole life? 
You haven’t. It’s OK to just admit it. 
  

Where there’s fire, there’s..wait, how does that go?

Metal smithing, lesson four: playing with fire.

Soldering with big scary torches. Acetylene.

Yes, they still scare me even after the other class I took. Don’t get me wrong–I can use one, but I need a seriously Big Brave Facade in place to do it.

Instructor: I thought you said you were afraid of fire?

Me: Oh, I am. I definitely am. I just don’t want this highly combustible combination of flammable gas and sparks to figure that out.

What scares me about it the most? It’s not the 1200 degree flame, oddly enough. It’s the hinky flint and steel strikers we use to light the torch. It feels like the gas is on forever before it finally catches.  Yes. Flint and steel.

Just like cavemen, except they didn’t have steel.

 

image

 

PS:  on the left, we have a butt joint, and the smaller piece on the right features a lap joint.

An imaginary conversation about splooge

Spell check corrects splooge as apologetic. Huh. 

Why do you need to write the word splooge?

Because I was wondering…

Wondering?

Yeah, wondering. 

About splooge?

Yeah, about splooge. 

What about it?

You’ll just laugh. 

No, I won’t. 

You will, I was wondering about some funny shit. 

I can’t dispute that logic, I guess. 

Trust me. Funny. 

So you won’t tell me what was so funny about splooge?

What isn’t funny about splooge?

Fair enough. 

For one thing, just the names for it are funny. Even the real one. Semen. It’s silly. And don’t even get me started on the nicknames!

Like what?

You know–spunk, jizz, cum.

And that’s what you thought was so funny I would be compelled to laugh?

No, no. 

What was it?

Well, I was thinking about the Olympics. 

And..?

What events would there be?

Events?

Yeah. If there was a splooge Olympics. 

A what?

You heard me. 

Yeah, but I don’t quite believe it. 

So, the first event would be the long spunk. 

Oh, my God. Seriously. The long spunk. You’re insane. What else?

Synchronized jizzing. 

Naturally. 

High cum?

Of course. 

You aren’t laughing…

It’s not funny. 

C’mon. It’s funny. Synchronized jizzing is funny!

Not really. 

Then why are your shoulders shaking?

You caught me. 

What was it that got you?

The long spunk. 

But then I got stuck. 

Stuck in the jizz…

In a manner of speaking…I couldn’t come up with any more good event names. 

No?

Well, there would need to be some sort of sprint jacking event. 

Nice. 

And a distance event, maybe a jerkathon. 

Timed ejaculating and non-ejaculating events. 

Exactly! 

Some sort of quantity event. 

Of course. 

You’ll need to do some more research. 

Can you help with that?

I’m something of an expert in the topic. 

What’s your best event?

You may have to run me through several. 

On your marks,,,get set…

Wait!

What?

Just want to make sure you understand I am not doing any team events or relays. 

Understood. Go!

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