Last dance in Autzen

Another season of great tailgating at Autzen stadium  is finished. I would like to take a moment to recognize the person who makes it all possible–my brother Ken.

He gives us a space to party, puts a roof over our heads, makes sure we get plenty to eat and drink, pours us car bombs, and makes sure we have heat. Hell, he even makes sure some of us have tickets. I know I wouldn’t be there without Ken!

He is not only the most generous host,  but as a bonus,  if anyone at the party ever had a medical issue, he could save their life.  We probably have one if the highest percentages of ACLS certified attendees of any tailgater. It’s a good feeling.
Of course, even though Ken is definitely the king of the tailgater, he is assisted by the best group of partiers you would ever hope to meet. Whenever I invite someone new, they always tell me how wonderful my family and friends are. It’s true.

There are far too many people to send out my love to. Ken and “I can’t feel my cheeks”Nicole, Lu and Brandon, Ma and Little L,  John and Rhodana, Marlene, Pam, the THS fun crowd, and everyone who food/drink/laughter to the party.

You are all the best.

My little brother is the bestestest though.

Love you!




Birthdays and gratitude

My love of birthdays is no secret to anyone. I love birthdays and every year I talk about mine more than is really decent for a woman of my age.

Birthdays make me happy.

Maybe it’s just because I like being the center of attention for a few days…or, uh, a whole month.

Or maybe it’s because I like getting presents. I do like presents, big or small. Roasting pan or fake cat’s paw. Love. Booze filled chocolates. Love. Skull shaped ice cube trays. Love. Power tools. Love.

I definitely love  the dinner and drinks invitations, and the people who do the inviting.

I am very much in favor of the mini-vacations and extended visits from people special to me.

There are not very many work days in a typical birthday month for me. I like working, but I like sleeping late and huddling in watching old movies even more!

It could be that what makes me happy is  the reminder that another year has gone safely by, mostly full of laughter and love.

Or the birthday cards, which always seem to make me all teary-eyed even if they literally have pictures of litter boxes on them.

It could be the cumulative effect of all of the messages, and texts, and Facebook posts wishing me well. I mean, I know that Facebook practically ORDERS people to wish me a happy birthday, but still. The fact that people take a minute out of their lives to think of me and wish me well is something that makes my tiny little Grinch heart grow at least two sizes larger each year. Considering how much it re-shrinks again over the course of the year, it’s a very good think I have a birthday every year. For the good of humanity.

More than anything, though, I think what makes me the most happy about birthdays is that they are a time to take a moment and remember all of the things about my life that are so wonderful. All of the people I love who love me back. Every drink with friends reminds me just how much I have to be grateful for.

Birthdays are my real thanksgiving. If you are one of the many, many people who wished me well on my birthday, I thank you.

Gratitude, it turns out, makes me very happy.











** PS:  Happy birthday, Doctor–I hope your birthday was as wonderful as mine!

An imaginary conversation about change

You know, I am really not very good at this “embracing change” shit. 

And this is the first time you’ve noticed it?

No. I have known it for quite a while now. 


And…I do try not to freak out about it. 


Shut up. Yes. Try. 


Are you a psychoanalyst or something? Can you say something other than “and?”



What is it that is so hard about change?

Not all change. Just some things. 

Like what?

Like my friends moving away. I am not a fan. At all. 

No. But is it good for them?

I don’t know. It could be. 

Is your concern mostly about how it will impact you?

Of course! Everyone knows I am selfish at heart. 

You aren’t as selfish as you think you are. 




You’re welcome. 

It’s just really hard to keep up with it all. It’s not that I am unhappy with my life at all. I am very happy right now, so when things change I worry about it upsetting that balance. 

But things always change. 

I know. But it is hard. 

Yeah. Sometimes. 

No one minds a change that involves an increased level of happiness. 

No. I am sorry that your friends moved. 

Me too. I know that everything else is great. 

You do have a pretty sweet life. 

I really do. Most changes really do work out. Things always seem to get better. 

Do they?

They do. 

So what are you worried about?

The interim. 


The transition between the good things is hard sometimes. 

So, you are worried about a transitory period of slight discomfort I between great things happening?

Yes. Yes I am. Also, you suck. 

I love you, too. 

Good night, you…

Sleep tight. 

***much love to my emotional attorney and Stuff as they move to their new life in Central Oregon. I will miss you. Thank you for being part of my life. Fuckers.