An imaginary conversation about children and commitment 

Before we do this, we should have a talk about whether or not we are ready for this level of commitment. 

Well, for one thing, we may have to buy medicine for them. We should really split that cost. 

I’m on disability, girlfriend. I can’t afford that. 

We’re creating new lives, we have to be responsible about it. We can’t just let them get sick!

Maybe we should sleep on it. 

You should have thought if that before you brought me a bag of freeze dried children. 

You haven’t reconstituted them yet?

No, you have to let the water sit for 24 hours with the purifying powder in it. Didn’t you research this before giving them to me?

No, I thought you just dumped them in the water. 

There’s a process. The eggs go into the water tomorrow. 

Unless we change our minds. 

Well, if you think it’s too much shared responsibility this early in our relationship. 

Pets are a big step. 

It was your idea!

I know. I think it will be OK.  We’re both relatively…

Do NOT say mature. 

No. Hell no. I was going to say responsible and loving. 

Oh.  Well yeah.  But NOT mature. 

No way. 

Have you seen the price list for parts and accessories?

Parts and accessories?

Yeah. For instance, I am a little put out that you didn’t get me the Executive Sea Monkey kit. 

I had no idea such a thing existed. 

I’ll email you the list. Do you want to get a Sea Monkey diploma?

It seems like a good idea if we are going to parent them. What does it entail?

A check, of course. $13 plus shipping and handling. 

And we’d both want one?

Well, I’d want one to put up in my cubicle. 

Of course you would. 

Any proud parent would!

Maybe we could just teach them French instead. 

Eh oui. Good idea!

Thanks!

I’ll send you pictures when I dump the eggs into the purified water and reanimate the freeze dried monkey babies. 

Perfect. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Happy Father’s Day!
  

%d bloggers like this: