“You two probably haven’t swallowed a lot of semen”
–Chelle to the men“That is what we used to listen to during…you know..”
“Camembert time?”
–Paddy and Michelle
So, since I have mentioned this a few times in passing, and people keep asking…I am going to write about my feeling about Camembert, Brie, and other creamy French cheeses.
Here is my thesis: creamy French cheeses like Camembert and Brie taste like sex.
No one seems to understand this except me, which leaves me perplexed.
Either people who read my blog don’t ever have sex or they don’t ever eat creamy French cheese. Because if you have done both of those things, how can you not understand? It is perfectly clear.
If you don’t know what sex tastes like, don’t talk to me. You are doing it wrong, and need to go and do it properly. There aren’t many things I would put that bluntly about something as completely subject to whims and personal preference as sex, but taste is part of it if you have the ability to taste. If you have sex you should know what that taste is. If you don’t, you are missing a big part of it.
If you don’t know, then find someone to show you. Not me, all I I will tell you is that it tastes like Camembert. I mean, sure, I guess you could just eat some cheese and then you’d know what sex tastes like, but I would recommend tasting some sex, and then trying the cheese. Maybe some wine. You can put the cheese right next to the bed so you don’t have to get up. Plus, the cheese should really be out of the fridge for a little while before you eat it.
If you aren’t convinced, try again. In case you did anything wrong.
If you still don’t get it, that’s OK. At least you’ll have had sex and some good cheese.
It’s really a no lose proposition.
Have another glass of wine, and get back in bed.