And I see newspapers, and a car in the carport,
And you’re a grownup and still unsure,
And I’m thirty, and I don’t know nothing no more.
–Everything But The Girl/25th of DecemberI can believe things that are true and things that aren’t true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they’re true or not.
–Neil Gaiman/American GodsTell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.
― George Carlin
In my case, I am 50 and I know less and less every year.
I’m not convinced I will ever be a grownup and I have never been particularly sure of anything in my life. Well, I have always been sure of one thing–which I could be completely wrong about, but I persist in believing anyway in spite all evidence to the contrary.
So what does that even mean?
I know a lot of people who build their whole lives around things that they believe which I think they are completely wrong about.
My life is mine, theirs is theirs.
We each do what’s best for ourselves, or we try to anyway. We ask for advice from people we love, we get opinions. Sometimes we listen. Sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we make the wrong decision if we listen to our heart. Sometimes we do if we listen to even the best advice. No one knows what is best in every situation, and we are all sometimes wrong even if we have the best of intentions.
Most of the time, things work out the right way. For me, anyway. It seems like for other people, nothing ever does. That’s something I wonder about. Part of the very long list of things I wonder about.
Just add figuring out the balance between listening to your very infallible heart, your very infallible brain, or the advice of possibly more or less infallible people who love me to the list.
Me? I’m 50, and I don’t know nothing no more.
But I will try to believe in people, and it is a choice. It’s not something that comes easily to me. It’s something I fight with and argue with myself about.
If I’m going to be wrong about something, maybe I’d rather go down trusting than not. Maybe trusting something too much seems like a better character flaw to have than not trusting in anything at all.
It’s quite possible that I am very wrong. I have been before.
I will definitely be wrong again. It’s very likely that I’ll get hurt sometimes if I believe in people.
Maybe even a lot.
I’ll get hurt even more if I don’t believe in anyone or anything.