You talk about writing a lot. Do you actually write as much as you talk about it?
Ugh. Really? Am I awful and pretentious?
Awful, yes. Not pretentious.
Fucker.
Heh.
It’s not like I am writing the Great American Anything.
No?
No. It’s more like the Minor American Exercise In Mental Masturbation.
It can’t be that bad!
Oh, it’s not. But it isn’t significant.
Do you want it to be?
It started as a exercise in openness and vulnerability when I was trying to not be so private about everything.
You definitely don’t seem overly private now–you must have been successful. Don’t you think that’s significant?
Yes, it really worked. Maybe it isn’t entirely insignificant. Not to me, anyway.
What sort of things do you write about?
Anything. Nothing. Some stories. Random thoughts. Conversations. Blowjobs.
So I take it your mother doesn’t read your blog.
Sure she does!
Even the posts about blowjobs? That’s awesome.
She’s pretty great.
So what do you say about blowjobs?
Whatever happens to cross my mind. For instance, I might mention how it’s too bad that super huge guys never get good blowjobs.
Guys always think they want a foot and a half long penis, but what are they going to do with it?
Exactly. It isn’t going to fit in any orifice.
Right.
And biology and blood flow being what they are, it’s never going to be fully erect anyway. Like trying to use a firehose that only has a trickle of water coming through it.
You’d pass out if you got a hard on.
Exactly, and even if you found a woman with an orifice big enough to stick that firehose in, it wouldn’t work very well.
Why not?
Friction. A semi-erect cock creates too much friction for penetration.
I suppose you’re right.
I’m definitely right. I’ve seen the principle in action.
Do tell?
No, it’s too depressing. Let’s just say that getting something that size to deploy is a lot less fun than a sexual experience ever should be.
And now I know what not to wish for if I ever encounter a genie lamp.
I can give you a size range of you’d like…
No, no..I’m staying OEM all the way.
It’s a wise decision.
Thanks.
Unless you’re horrifically small or something.
No, no. Not at all.
It seems like that is something that should be disclosed ahead of time. To save embarassment later.
Why not just have us marked in some way if we are out of the allowable size range for sex?
That wouldn’t work. People like different sizes. You’d need specifics.
You’ve given this some thought!
Yes. And you know, I’ve changed my mind. I’d rather have it be a surprise.
I wasn’t looking forward to reporting for measurements, anyway.
Yeah. It would be a whole process. You’d need a fully erect measurement for it to be at all valid, and what if people were shy? They could be mis-categorized.
You’re a little insane, aren’t you?
Sure. By the way, this is exactly the kind of discussion that ends up in my blog.
Really? Good to know. How am I doing?
I’ll let you know once I write you in. Fine so far, I think. I’ll come off as a lunatic, but that’s normal.
Can you make me taller?
Absolutely. All of the men in the blog are around 6’2. Will that do?
Sure. I don’t want to be picky in my debut.