A lot of people on online dating sites have elaborate lists of requirements stating what they want in a partner. Age, height, weight, hair length and color, intelligence level, amount of income. We all have preferences about what we want in a partner, sexually and otherwise. It just surprises me how rigid some people are about what their possible mate should look like.
Intangibles are what I am after.
Being crazy about me is a big one-I want someone who is not just willing to spend time with me but who is enthusiastic about it. He’ll not only like to do spontaneous things, but also want to make plans with me. It seems like there are a lot of people who want to keep their options open until the last minute. I want to be the first option.
Does he have time to spend with me? We all have priorities. Work. Kids. Hobbies. I want to be near the top. I don’t want to be someone he tries to get around to every few weeks. I want to be the one he makes sure he has time for as much as life allows.
Does he seem interested when we are not in the same room together? I want someone who is in touch. I want to know that he is thinking about me when we are not together. Not hours of phone calls, but keeping me involved with what is going on in his world. Text messages. Pictures. Ideas for things to do when we get together again.
He doesn’t have to be good looking in a way that everyone else would find handsome. He has to be sexy to me. That really varies. He might be tall or short. Thin or heavy. He will definitely need to be smart. Ideally he will be smarter than I am. He will be an original. He’ll probably be creative in some way. He will have a sense of humor but not make jokes just to avoid having a serious conversation. Someone who is connected to life and the people in his life. Someone who is open about his thoughts and feelings and encourages me to be.
Someone who is just a little twisted. Edgy, but tender hearted. Kinky, but monogamous. Someone who is cynical but sees how fantastic life is. Someone who stops to pet cute dogs. Someone who entwines his fingers in my hair when he kisses me. Someone who smells…right. Someone whose voice I like the sound of.
If he would also sing to me and read to me? Well. There would be swooning.
It’s a lot, and it has to be reciprocal.
Too much?
I wonder.