An imaginary conversation about things I have not read

I’ve never read “King Lear.”  Isn’t that weird?

Most people probably haven’t. They don’t teach Shakespeare like they used to. 

I’m supposed to be well read. A well read person should have read it. 

You can’t read everything. 

No. I can’t. 

What got you all wound up about “King Lear?”

I’m not wound up about it, but it was a big part of a book I was reading. 

Of course. you’re worried about reading revealing a lack in your…reading. 

In the book, the play was being performed and it’s a recurring element. It bothered me that I hadn’t read it. 

Didn’t you understand the references?

Yes, I did. I’ve never read it or seen it performed, but it’s referred to so frequently in literature that you can’t help but know about the mad king and his daughters.

Why are you so worried about it, then?

I’m not worried, exactly. It just seems like I do a lot of other things with the time I could be using to read.

Like seeing your friends and family? Going on dates? Having a job? You read a lot, don’t you? Way more than most people?

Sure, but I don’t always read stuff that’s very worthwhile. I read crap sometimes.

So? Is there some law that says you have to only read important literature? You don’t watch TV, it’s within your allotted schlock quotient. 

I guess. 

You sound awfully gloomy about it.

No…it’s just that it seems like someone who has done as much reading as I have should be more…I dunno…

More?

Saying more well read seems silly. 

Yes. You are as well read as anyone. 

More…educated? More knowledgeable, maybe?

More intellectual?

I guess. 

So you don’t actually know why you are concerned about not having read “King Lear?”

Not really, aside from it bothering me that haven’t read “King Lear” but I have read all of the Anita Blake smutty novels. 

So read it. 

I have downloaded the complete works of the Bard. 

Of course you have. Enjoy. 

Maybe I should finish the near future post apocalyptic novel first. 

Yes, you should. 

In the sun. 

Naturally. 

In the hammock. 

If you’ve got one, this is the weather to use it. 

Off I go. 

Are you really going to read “King Lear?”

No fucking clue. Chances are I’ll have forgotten all about it by tomorrow. 

I’m sure you’ll figure out something to read. 

Of course–I always have at least a couple of books going!

This doesn’t seem like very good weather for Shakespeare. 

Maybe I should read it next Winter. 

Perfect. 

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