Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!
Bad day, Buttercup?
Fuck everyone and the motherfucking horse they rode in on!
Apparently so.
I know I say this ironically all the fucking time, but why does everything have to be so hard?
Oh, sweetie, don’t cry…is there anything I can do?
DON’T CALL ME SWEETIE, YOU KNOW I FUCKING HATE BEING CALLED SWEETIE. AND DON’T BE SO FUCKING NICE TO ME ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
It’s just that you sounded so forlorn and profane at the same time, I couldn’t help but call you sweetie.
I’m sorry. I suck. You can call me sweetie. I know you know my name.
Yes, I do. You are one of my favorite people in the whole world. I love you.
I know you do, but thank you for saying so.
You need a hug badly. And a kleenex. Blow your nose. By the way, I have never met anyone else who can scream profanites while sobbing like her heart is broken. It’s a very unusual talent.
You always know just what to say to make me feel better.
Fucking weirdo.
I love you. You talk to me like I’m sane when I am crying. No one ever does that. And you aren’t nice to me. I mean, nicer than normal.
If I’m nice to you, you’ll cry more.
I know…you actually believed me when I told you that. No one ever does.
Of course I believed you. Who would make up something that weird?
The kind of person who yells f-bombs at her favorite person because she’s having a meltdown. I apologized already, right?
Yes you did. And you do not suck.
Oh, yes I do. In a couple of ways.
You must be calming down.
Why?
You’re already talking about blow jobs.
Well, someone’s got to!
Here’s another Kleenex.
You’re the best person I know.
Thanks, sweetie. You gonna tell me what’s going on?
It’s stupid and embarrassing.
Good, then I can use it against you once you stop crying.
Dick.
Heheheh.
It’s just so fucking…juvenile. I feel like I’m 15. Except I didn’t swear when I was fifteen.
Was a boy mean to you?
All the boys are being mean to me. Can you beat them up for me?
I’m a hugger, not a slugger. Can I ask you a question without it hurting your feelings?
Oh, God, really? I’m barely able to keep it together and you want to ask difficult questions? Go ahead. Have a Kleenex handy.
Do you think you are taking everything about dating too personally?
Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I take it personally. Dating is all about people wanting or not wanting you personally.
But you do realize that if someone isn’t interested in you, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, right?
Asshole. Yes. I realize that on an intellectual level, and most of the time I even feel it internally. Not today though.
Why not today?
Because I am pretty much questioning everything about myself. There are 5 guys I have gone out with in the last several weeks. All of them seemed like they had a good time. I saw one of them enough times that I don’t even know how many times. He seemed very into me, but there were some red flags. I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks. We had been seeing each other a couple of times a week and were at least saying hello almost every day. He just disappeared. Two I kind of liked. They say they want to get together but..nothing. One is really too young. One of them I was really excited about, and I thought he was just as enthusiastic. We had a good time. The next day he kind of gave me the dating kiss of death–called me sweet and nice–and after some lukewarm conversations, pretty much stopped talking. Claimed he was interested. It makes me wonder. It just seems like something must be wrong with me for this many people in a row to bail.
Or maybe they are wrong for you and you’re lucky to find out.
I know this when the rejection comes in ones and twos. It is harder to keep believing it isn’t me when it comes by the dozen.
It’ll work out.
I know, but this week kind of sucked. The saving grace was the chatty guy up North, and the kid.
You’re still talking to them both? See, you aren’t hideous! Are you going to see the kid again?
We talk every day, pretty much…but he hasn’t asked me out. I don’t think he will.
Why don’t you ask him?
I asked the first time. I don’t feel like chasing anyone. I kind of need someone to chase me.
What about the island guy?
We also talk pretty much every day. We are kind of hinting around at meeting up there soon.
You can’t go up there alone!
I’d work out something safe. Anyway it won’t be this weekend.
You could use a weekend off.
I guess. I am a little tired.
You should go to sleep.
Yes. Thanks for being you.
Thanks for being one of my peeps.