Disclaimers

I have a really hard time dealing with people who are hot and cold, people who love me one day and are indifferent the next.  It triggers reactions that are intense, especially if I pretend I  am really OK with it for a while and it happens over and over.  Which I try not to do, but hey. Human.

Of course I also have equally intense positive reactions, which results in things like pulling off the road because I have to stop and watch the sunset right NOW and text everyone to go outside and look. I say “wow” a lot. I stop what I am doing and try to see beauty in things. 


So it is, like many things, both a blessing and a curse. 

One of my disclaimers would be:

 

Warning: expect extreme emotional responses.

 

I am living a far more open life than I ever have before. I say what I think and feel, and prefer that in others as well.  There is still an inherent introversion, and my first reaction is still to go quiet when I am experiencing some sort of intense emotion. How do you tell the difference between being quiet and happy and being quiet and angry? Well, you might see me smiling or scowling…but the easiest thing is just to ask me. I will talk about anything now. Even things that are hard to talk about. Sometimes I just don’t quite know how I feel, sometimes it can take me a while to sort things out in my head. I will tell you that, too.

Sometimes all I am thinking is “should I have popcorn for dinner?” Other times I am thinking if I should bring something up or let it go. These days, I seem to be opting more and more for bringing things up before they start to get to me, but first…silence.

This would definitely be one of my warning notices:

 

Beware of extended silences.



As I keep trying to make myself a better person, there is one thing I continue to struggle with. It is difficult for me to deal with stupidity. Not innocent ignorance, but willful ignorance.  Ignorance can be overcome with a willingness to learn. The sort of stupidity that gets to me is the sort that doesn’t even want to learn. My behavior on this has improved only slightly from the first grade when I told my teacher that I didn’t want to help a boy named Wayne with his work because he was stupid and mean. She made me do it anyway. He still tried to beat me up at recess. He was stupid and mean. Where I was wrong is not in my assessment of Wayne, but in my lack of empathy for why he was the way he was. It is still a character flaw I work on, but not as hard as I should. 

My biggest disclaimer would be:
Warning: does not play well with stupid people.
If people came with warning labels, what would yours say?



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