i can’t believe you’re leaving before I had a chance to show you all of the official sights of my island..<\/p>\n
Don’t you think I’ll be back?<\/p>\n
You’ll definitely be back. <\/p>\n
Yes, I will. <\/p>\n
But I didn’t even take you to the lighthouse, or to see the bicycle in the tree, or the coffee roasterie or the Sea Monkey Museum. <\/p>\n
We can go to the lighthouse any time and …wait, there’s a Sea Monkey museum? Why was I not informed of this? Is it open on Sunday?<\/p>\n
Well, that isn’t quite the reaction I was expecting…<\/p>\n
But SEA MONKEYS!<\/p>\n
Wow. <\/p>\n
The King of the Sea Monkeys has a trident, you know. <\/p>\n
I don’t even know where to start..<\/p>\n
About?<\/p>\n
I’m just going to have to say it. <\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
There isn’t really a Sea Monkey museum. <\/p>\n
Wait, you lied to me about something this important?<\/p>\n
Really? It’s important?<\/p>\n
SEA MONKEYS!<\/p>\n
It’s really disconcerting how excited you get about sea monkeys. <\/p>\n
Don’t you remember the ads in comic books? The king of sea monkeys had a crown! And a trident!<\/p>\n
I’m really sorry that I started this. I mean, I am really sorry to disappoint you. <\/p>\n
Well, fuck. There needs to be a Sea Monkey Museum. Can we start one?<\/p>\n
I am just a little taken aback by the direction this whole conversation has taken right now. <\/p>\n
So, I should stop yelling SEA MONKEYS?<\/p>\n
Would you mind?<\/p>\n
Not at all. <\/p>\n
Thank you. <\/p>\n
You’re welcome. <\/p>\n
The next time you are here, I will be a better host. <\/p>\n
How could you possibly have been a better host? I mean, aside from lying to me about the Sea Monkey Museum. That was a blow to my level of trust. <\/p>\n
Really?<\/p>\n
NO. Of course not. <\/p>\n
That’s a relief. <\/p>\n
When can I come back?<\/p>\n
Whenever you want. <\/p>\n
Will you get me some sea monkeys?<\/p>\n
Do they still sell them?<\/p>\n
Yes. I got some on Amazon for a co-worker last year!<\/p>\n
Because…?<\/p>\n
She hadn’t ever had any before. It’s a whole story. <\/p>\n
Ah. Everything seems to be a story with you. <\/p>\n
Is that a bad thing?<\/p>\n
No, no. I enjoy it. <\/p>\n
We also had a pet house fly named Ruprecht. <\/p>\n
Of course you did. <\/p>\n
That’s also a story. <\/p>\n
I figured as much. <\/p>\n
Let me know if you want to hear it. <\/p>\n
Soon. Right now I am going to make you stop talking. <\/p>\n
How are you going to….ohhhh! Yes. <\/p>\n
Shhhh…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"