{"id":10497,"date":"2015-08-29T08:00:04","date_gmt":"2015-08-29T15:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=10497"},"modified":"2015-08-28T23:14:28","modified_gmt":"2015-08-29T06:14:28","slug":"in-which-i-am-accused-of-being-zen-about-everything","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10497","title":{"rendered":"In which I am accused of being Zen about everything\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

We are born inside the gates with the power to create life
\nAnd to take it away
\nThe world is our temple
\nThe world is our church<\/p>\n

Heaven’s here on earth<\/p>\n

If we have faith in humankind
\nAnd respect for what is earthly
\nAnd an unfaltering belief
\nIn peace and love and understanding
\n–Tracy Chapman\/Heaven’s Here On Earth<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This has been an interesting year. How does that saying go? May you live in interesting times? It’s true. I do. <\/p>\n

I have laughed more in the last year than I have in a long time. <\/p>\n

I have cried more in the last year than I have in a long time. <\/p>\n

I have questioned everything I thought I knew about myself. <\/p>\n

I’ve learned how to mostly embrace who I am. <\/p>\n

I’ve become close to people who were only acquaintances, and seen people drift away who were once close to me.<\/p>\n

Yeah. I am still fat. <\/p>\n

Those are all good things. Even the crying. <\/p>\n

Things change and stay the same and all of it just is the way it is. 
\nEarlier this month, I was at the beach with several people I love. They were all meeting each other for the first time, but all know me very well. At one point, I walked out to the back deck and interrupted three of them talking about me. They stopped their conversation long enough to tell me that they weren’t done discussing me and I should come back later. <\/p>\n

They meant it. So I did. <\/p>\n

When I came back, they were still at it. I had no idea that there was so much to say about me. I’m not the most fascinating of creatures. <\/p>\n

What they were talking about is what they referred to as my stubborn refusal to admit that I am spirutual. <\/p>\n

No one, I was told, can be as full of wonder as I am and not be spiritual. <\/p>\n

Can so, I replied, (because I am a total wordsmith like that.)<\/p>\n

Can not, they insisted. You have to admit that there must be some sort of creative force behind it all. It couldn’t just all be accidental. <\/p>\n

Must I? Couldn’t it? <\/p>\n

Yes. No. Besides, you’re always looking for things to be grateful for. That’s a spiritual trait. <\/p>\n

No, I just recognize how good I have it. <\/p>\n

And so it went. We did not agree. They laughed at my lack of belief in spirituality and I laughed at their insistence that I must be wrong. I don’t care if there is or is not a spirit. They insisted that I am Zen and just don’t want to admit it. <\/p>\n

Maybe it’s semantics, but what I believe in is things of this Earth. People. Mountains. Trees. Squeaky cats. Purple sunsets. Rain. I can be thankful they exist without feeling a need to thank a Creator for them. They exist. That is enough for me. I don’t feel a need to put a label on it. <\/p>\n

If someone thinks I am spiritual because I see beauty in life, then that’s fine. If they want to label it Zen, or being a purple people eater then whatever. I think I am just an atheist with an eye for beauty, an appreciation for the people I love and a desire to seek out silver linings wherever I can. I like good beer, books and Elvis Costello. <\/p>\n

My name is Michelle. I am who I am. No more, no less. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We are born inside the gates with the power to create life And to take it away The world is our temple The world is our church Heaven’s here on earth If we have faith in humankind And respect for what is earthly And an unfaltering belief In peace and love and understanding –Tracy Chapman\/Heaven’s … Continue reading In which I am accused of being Zen about everything\u00a0<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8959,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-thoughts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2Jj","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1230,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1230","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":0},"title":"Well. Isn’t THAT interesting?","author":"Michelle","date":"August 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I've got some sort of bug bite on my arm. It\u00a0 tripled in size during the day, so I went to see a doctor to make sure my arm wasn't going to fall off and keep me from going to the Duck game on Saturday. As part of the exam,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"Screen shot 2013-08-29 at 7.05.16 PM","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/Screen-shot-2013-08-29-at-7.05.16-PM-220x300.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3608,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3608","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":1},"title":"This is how it goes","author":"Michelle","date":"January 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This is how it goes: One more failure to connect With so many how could I object? And you, what on earth did you expect? Well, I can't tell you, baby When this is how it goes --Aimee Mann\/This Is How It Goes Failure to connect is a recurring theme\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9959,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9959","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":2},"title":"Kissing as drapery","author":"Michelle","date":"May 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"It's easy to get enveloped. The kiss is like drawing the blinds. --Anon The pull on my flesh was just too strong Stifled the choice and the air in my lungs --Mumford and Sons\/Broken Crown The other night, I was chatting with someone online. The subject of sex came up,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2803,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2803","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":3},"title":"The unfollow dilemma","author":"Michelle","date":"December 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"If you walk away, walk away I walk away, walk away I will follow --U2\/I Will Follow In reading some of YearOfElan's other posts after seeing the viral rude Thanksgiving airline passenger deal, I came across this post about unfollowing people on social media which really clicked with me. He\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10605,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10605","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":4},"title":"An imaginary conversation about gray days","author":"Michelle","date":"October 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Some days I just really wonder. Wonder? About what? Everything. Everything? That is a lot to wonder about! It is! Why do you feel like that's your job? My job? I don't. I just do it recreationally. For fun. More of a calling, I suppose. Like the priesthood. But with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10003,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10003","url_meta":{"origin":10497,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about scaring the natives","author":"Michelle","date":"May 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Can I ask you something? Oh god.\u00a0 It isn't anything awful.\u00a0 You'll ask anyway.\u00a0 True. Well. No.\u00a0 No? No, I wouldn't ask if you said no, but I'd be annoyed.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 So are you going to answer, or would you rather annoy me? Can I reserve the right to decide\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10497"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10497\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}