{"id":10634,"date":"2015-10-17T14:58:57","date_gmt":"2015-10-17T21:58:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=10634"},"modified":"2015-10-17T14:58:56","modified_gmt":"2015-10-17T21:58:56","slug":"37-pieces-of-kibble","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10634","title":{"rendered":"37 Pieces of kibble"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Every day when I get up in the morning, or come home in the evening, Squeaky Cat explains to me that he is DYING OF STARVATION because he is very close to just about almost being able to see the bottom of his food dish. Practically. It&#8217;s not actually empty, but he can see that it could possibly become empty at some point and feels very strongly that I should remediate this emergency immediately.<\/p>\n<p>Kitty gets quite agitated about it, and tells me very clearly and very loudly that I am abusing him terribly by feeding him so little. Usually his lament is accompanied by running up and down the hall weaving between my feet until he gets too exhausted (because he is STARVING, yo) and flings himself onto the area rug in his best dramatic manner.<\/p>\n<p>As you can see, he is practically a skeleton cat, and his life is nothing but endless &nbsp;suffering. Oh, and misery. Lots of misery. No one knows the troubles he&#8217;s seen. Etc.<\/p>\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_10640\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10640\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10640\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-10640\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"10640\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10640\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3243-e1445056118604.jpg?fit=500%2C500&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,500\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.4&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPad Air&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1445030021&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;3.3&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;800&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.066666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_3243\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Kitty has a very hard life.&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3243-e1445056118604.jpg?fit=660%2C660&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10640\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3243-e1445056118604.jpg?resize=500%2C500&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Kitty has a very hard life.\" width=\"500\" height=\"500\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10640\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kitty has a very hard life.<\/figcaption><\/figure><br \/>\nSqueaky Cat, like some of the people who live with him, has issues with food. He doesn&#8217;t like his food dish to actually get empty, and will &nbsp;not finish all of his food unless a &#8220;people&#8221; is around who can refill it.<\/p>\n<p>As Stephen put it, he gets down to his last 37 pieces of kibble and goes into Apocalypse mode until more food goes into his bowl. He does his very best to convince anyone in the room that his need is dire. It might be a little more convincing if he was slightly less rotund.<\/p>\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_10639\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10639\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10639\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-10639\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"10639\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10639\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3242-e1445056645198.jpg?fit=500%2C294&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,294\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.4&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPad Air&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1445029951&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;3.3&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;800&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.066666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_3242\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Kitty has gotten so fat that his tummy seam is all loose and his batting is starting to come out&amp;#8230;&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3242-e1445056645198.jpg?fit=660%2C387&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3242-e1445056645198.jpg?resize=500%2C294&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Kitty has gotten so fat that his tummy seam is all loose and his batting is starting to come out...\" width=\"500\" height=\"294\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10639\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10639\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kitty has gotten so fat that his tummy seam is all loose and his batting is starting to come out&#8230;<\/figcaption><\/figure>Or if the food dish was, in fact, empty.<\/p>\n<p><figure id=\"attachment_10648\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10648\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10648\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-10648\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"10648\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10648\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/image-e1445118804379.jpeg?fit=500%2C375&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,375\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.4&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPhone 5&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1445073002&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;4.12&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;1600&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.066666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;6&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"image\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;38 pieces of kibble&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/image-e1445118804379.jpeg?fit=660%2C495&amp;ssl=1\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/image-e1445118804379.jpeg?resize=500%2C375&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"38 pieces of kibble\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10648\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10648\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">38 pieces of kibble<\/figcaption><\/figure><br \/>\nHe won&#8217;t stand for any nonsense about it, either-he expects his bowl to be filled in a prompt manner.<\/p>\n<p>He can be quite stern about it.<figure id=\"attachment_10638\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-10638\" style=\"width: 400px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10638\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-10638\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"10638\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?attachment_id=10638\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3241-e1445055968535.jpg?fit=400%2C400&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"400,400\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;2.4&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;iPad Air&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;1445029890&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;3.3&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;800&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0.066666666666667&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"IMG_3241\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"&lt;p&gt;Kitty is NOT having any of my nonsense!&lt;\/p&gt;\n\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3241-e1445055968535.jpg?fit=660%2C660&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"size-full wp-image-10638\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/IMG_3241-e1445055968535.jpg?resize=400%2C400&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Kitty is NOT having any of my nonsense!\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\"><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-10638\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kitty is NOT having any of my nonsense!<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Every day when I get up in the morning, or come home in the evening, Squeaky Cat explains to me that he is DYING OF STARVATION because he is very close to just about almost being able to see the bottom of his food dish. Practically. It&#8217;s not actually empty, but he can see that &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10634\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">37 Pieces of kibble<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8959,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-random-thoughts"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-2Lw","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4282,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4282","url_meta":{"origin":10634,"position":0},"title":"This is time","author":"Michelle","date":"March 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"And forever more, I'll be on your side for sure - A light in your life, that always burns for you As time passes.... so quickly. --Paul Weller\/Time Passes It's the beginning of March. I am looking at my calendar. I'm getting my hair done next week. And a tattoo.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5871,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5871","url_meta":{"origin":10634,"position":1},"title":"Imaginary conversation about cats","author":"Michelle","date":"May 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"How do you feel about cats? Cats? You know how I feel about cats. I hate cats. Hate is such a strong word. What did you do? Do? What do you mean what did I do? Did you get a fucking cat? 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I can't help but be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9386,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9386","url_meta":{"origin":10634,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about having a cat on my foot","author":"Michelle","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The cat is sleeping on my foot again. Make him quit.\u00a0He weighs about 15 pounds. I'm pretty sure you can get him off your foot all by yourself.\u00a0He's snoring. I can't read when he snores.\u00a0It isn't that loud.\u00a0It's like thunder.\u00a0You can barely hear it.\u00a0Quiet thunder.\u00a0Put him on the floor and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10634"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10634\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/8959"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}