Remember how I told you that I thought people should have to provide references in first dates?<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
You never listen.<\/p>\n
Yes I do, but I can’t be expected to keep up with every one of your insane ideas.<\/p>\n
Some people like my ideas.<\/p>\n
No they don’t.<\/p>\n
Are you sure?<\/p>\n
The men, anyway. They just pretend to like your ideas because they want to fuck you.<\/p>\n
All of them? I don’t think so.<\/p>\n
Some of them. The ones pretending to like your insane ideas.<\/p>\n
You don’t have a very high opinion of how men think. Also, I don’t like that you are dissing my creative ideas.<\/p>\n
Insane.<\/p>\n
Quirky.<\/p>\n
You know how a lot of men think.<\/p>\n
Yes. And that is why I had this new idea!<\/p>\n
I can’t wait to hear it.<\/p>\n
I’ll pretend that was sincere and tell you: I think we should get sexual letters of reference from past lovers upon separation so new lovers know what to expect.<\/p>\n
Dear gods.<\/p>\n
What? Don’t you think it would be helpful?<\/p>\n
No.<\/p>\n
Star rankings like high school athletes?<\/p>\n
You’ve lost your mind entirely.<\/p>\n
You don’t think I should bring this up on dates?<\/p>\n
Are you kidding me?<\/p>\n
Yes.<\/p>\n
Good.<\/p>\n
Mostly.<\/p>\n
It’s a terrible idea.<\/p>\n
Well, it does have some challenges.<\/p>\n
Some?<\/p>\n
Sure. Like how would someone know the references were real and sincere?<\/p>\n
Among other things.<\/p>\n
Or, a past lover could torpedo your sexual future by giving a bad reference.<\/p>\n
The logistics alone make this impossible.<\/p>\n
Well, I think it has a lot of possibilities.<\/p>\n
I doesn’t. No possibilities at all.<\/p>\n
The reviews could be posted online.<\/p>\n
No. Who would pay for hosting?<\/p>\n
People who want to have sex.<\/p>\n
So you’d have some sort of legal mandate on that?<\/p>\n
Good point. That could be tricky.<\/p>\n
There is no scenario in which this is anything but crazy.<\/p>\n
You’re so unwhimsical.<\/p>\n
Your idea isn’t whimsical, it’s batshit-ical.<\/p>\n
Aren’t you ever curious though?<\/p>\n
Of course. That’s part of the fun. Waiting to find out.<\/p>\n
I suppose you’re right. If you knew ahead of time, all of that fun teasing and delayed gratification would be pointless.<\/p>\n
Is it ever pointless?<\/p>\n
Not if it’s done well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"