{"id":1434,"date":"2013-09-10T17:35:30","date_gmt":"2013-09-11T00:35:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=1434"},"modified":"2013-09-10T17:35:30","modified_gmt":"2013-09-11T00:35:30","slug":"i-am-pleased-to-inform-you-that-my-primary-emergency-eyeliner-has-been-located","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1434","title":{"rendered":"I am pleased to inform you that my primary emergency eyeliner has been located"},"content":{"rendered":"

Additionally, I have been informed that I have a bad attitude when I am only slightly ill. (When I am really sick, I’m an angel)<\/p>\n

I’m the one who told myself about it. <\/p>\n

The forecast for the next 36 hours calls for whining and occasional emotional outbursts. <\/p>\n

I’d tell myself to sack up, but I’m afraid of the reaction I might have. <\/p>\n

It’s too hot to make tea, and I want some.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Additionally, I have been informed that I have a bad attitude when I am only slightly ill. (When I am really sick, I’m an angel) I’m the one who told myself about it. The forecast for the next 36 hours calls for whining and occasional emotional outbursts. I’d tell myself to sack up, but I’m … Continue reading I am pleased to inform you that my primary emergency eyeliner has been located<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1434","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hmmm","category-insanity"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-n8","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":6710,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6710","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":0},"title":"Out of order","author":"Michelle","date":"July 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"So one of the weird things that's going on is that I am totally off balance. 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It's not like I am a wreck all the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7617,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7617","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":1},"title":"Uncomfortable about being uncomfortable","author":"Michelle","date":"September 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"We wanted to find love We wanted success Until nothing was enough Until my middle name was excess --PJ Harvey\/We Float I held a dandelion That said the time had come To leave upon the wind Not to return When summer burned the earth again --Elton John-Bernie Taupin\/Curtains So, I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4272,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4272","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":2},"title":"Wish I may, wish I might","author":"Michelle","date":"March 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't wanna be a loser I don't wanna be an almost was --Everclear\/Rock Star Wishing to be different than you are creates unhappiness. --Various This is something that all the inspirational quote pushers seem to harp on. It seems to be sort of a near-Gospel \"truth\" that we can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5632,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5632","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":3},"title":"Not being un-myself","author":"Michelle","date":"May 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"And tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find? And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? --Train\/Drops of Jupiter I was talking to a friend who joked about my use of a double negative. Using a negative to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2877,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2877","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":4},"title":"I’m positive I’m a dumbass, OK?","author":"Michelle","date":"December 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been talking to the wall and it's been answering me Oh darling how I miss you I'm just the mere shadow of my former selfishness --Elvis Costello\/Human Hands Oh, don't worry. My selfishness level is at a perfectly normal operating level. Sometimes the walls answer me though, but never\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8280,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8280","url_meta":{"origin":1434,"position":5},"title":"I’m not angry","author":"Michelle","date":"November 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"What I need is A good defense 'Cause I'm feelin' Like a criminal And I need To be redeemed To the one I've sinned against Because he's all I ever knew of love --Fiona Apple\/Criminal Lately it seems like I tend to spend time being angry with myself for not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1434"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1434\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1434"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1434"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1434"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}