{"id":1689,"date":"2013-09-27T06:15:20","date_gmt":"2013-09-27T13:15:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=1689"},"modified":"2013-09-26T23:37:58","modified_gmt":"2013-09-27T06:37:58","slug":"what-am-i-good-at-anyway","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1689","title":{"rendered":"What am I good at, anyway?"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

Let me tell you a story cuz it’s all I can do.
\n–McKinley\/Citizen Kane<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Back in the late 90’s, going through a bit of a rough patch, I started to realize that maybe there was something really wrong with me when I was complaining to a friend about my job. He told me that I was way too smart for my job anyway, and\u00a0 should find something to do for a living that wasn’t a complete waste of my brain. I responded “I can’t get another job. I don’t know how to do anything.” He rang off, very annoyed with me for talking like that about myself and then it struck me that it probably was a Very Bad Thing that I honestly believed I didn’t know how to do anything. Realizing that it was a bad sign that I felt that way\u00a0 didn’t make me realize that it wasn’t really true, but it did start me wondering if maybe there was something a little more wrong with me than a bad attitude.<\/p>\n

There was.<\/p>\n

I was depressed.<\/p>\n

Of course, since depression is really good at making you believe that you and everything in your life suck,\u00a0 that there is nothing that can change it, and that in fact everything would be a lot better if you just weren’t around…well…it’s not like I could really figure it out on my own. Someone intervened and forced me to do something about it.\u00a0 Even depressed and semi-suicidal I was lucky. It pays to surround yourself with good people.<\/p>\n

It took a long time to rebuild relationships that had fallen apart during the time I was not myself.\u00a0 I didn’t enjoy my own company, and others probably liked it even less. Gradually, I got myself back together again. Started seeing people again. Acted like a human being again, as much as I ever do. I’m still not great at acting like a human being. You’ve probably noticed that.<\/p>\n

So what am I good at? Now that I’m not depressed anymore, I should be able to answer the question.<\/p>\n

I’m definitely not<\/em> good at\u00a0 being depressed. I mean, I survived it. Probably if I’d been better at it, I wouldn’t have.<\/p>\n

I’m really good at having people around me who are better than I deserve. I’m not being self-effacing, it’s true. My people are wonderful. I have a lot of nice traits, but I’m definitely nowhere near as great as the people around me.<\/p>\n

I’m an excellent reader of fiction.<\/p>\n

I am better than almost anyone at learning something new, becoming proficient at it and recommending ways to improve it. New bosses love me.<\/p>\n

I am a moderately good knitter with excellent taste in yarn. Need cashmere? I probably have some. I’m like a meth house for yarn addicts.<\/p>\n

I’m a mediocre singer, but I sing all the time anyway because it makes me happy. I’m not sure what that’s being good at. Being happy, I guess.<\/p>\n

Being happy is definitely one of my talents.<\/p>\n

I’m really excellent at at least one thing\u00a0 I cannot write about. Yes, my career in the Secret Service.<\/p>\n

I have a talent for quietly saying something that no one was expecting. Usually something funny. Sometimes something…uh…pointed. Or spectacularly profane. That’s a talent, right?<\/p>\n

A talent that I’m choosing not to indulge these days is the ability to completely ignore someone who makes me angry.\u00a0 It’s unfortunate that it’s so bad for me, because I am very<\/em> good at it.<\/p>\n

I am cultivating an ability to forgive. This is something that I did not aspire to until very recently. I am making excellent progress.\u00a0\u00a0 If you did something to piss me off at some point in the past, check back with me.<\/p>\n

You may already\u00a0 be forgiven.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Let me tell you a story cuz it’s all I can do. –McKinley\/Citizen Kane   Back in the late 90’s, going through a bit of a rough patch, I started to realize that maybe there was something really wrong with me when I was complaining to a friend about my job. He told me … Continue reading What am I good at, anyway?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1689","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-rf","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9357,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9357","url_meta":{"origin":1689,"position":0},"title":"Running into an ex","author":"Michelle","date":"February 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The other day I ran into ex #2 at a car dealership as I was getting my car serviced. 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Too self centered.\u00a0One thing teenage me was absolutely right about? \u00a0Love. \u00a0It's the one thing I got right the first time, changed my mind about when it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8445,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8445","url_meta":{"origin":1689,"position":3},"title":"On getting out of the happiness mafia","author":"Michelle","date":"December 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I can't tell one from the other I find you, or you find me? There was a time before we were born If someone asks, this is where I'll be, --Talking Heads\/This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) The Modern American World really wants us all to be happy. 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