{"id":1821,"date":"2013-10-06T06:21:28","date_gmt":"2013-10-06T13:21:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=1821"},"modified":"2013-10-05T20:21:26","modified_gmt":"2013-10-06T03:21:26","slug":"listen-in-silence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1821","title":{"rendered":"You said something"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Signal fading, listen to what I’m saying
\nTesting, testing
\nThis better be worth all of the breath I’m wasting<\/p>\n

–Elvis Costello\/Radio Silence<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Silent is an anagram for listen.<\/p>\n

Coincidence?<\/p>\n

Well, yeah, it’s a coincidence–but it’s one worth noting.<\/p>\n

I am not a terrific listener sometimes. At work, it’s easier. I’m paid to pay attention. I’m paid to notice little details about what people are saying or not saying. Outside of work, it gets harder. There are a lot of distractions. The stereo, a book, a message from a friend on my phone. It’s too easy to multitask and nod like you’re listening when you really aren’t.<\/p>\n

How often do you find yourself looking up from the phone or a book saying “I’m sorry, what were you saying?” If you are like me, it’s too often. So I try to do better, but it’s kind of hard sometimes.<\/p>\n

A lot of people have trouble listening because they talk. I’m more prone to have trouble with a wandering mind. It’s really the same thing as talking, I’m just talking to myself in my head.<\/p>\n

True confession: I’ve stopped writing about 20 times to do various things. Check the score on the Stanford game. Check the score on the ASU game. Look at my Twitter feed to see if anyone is talking about why Lyerla is suspended for a game. Clean the top of the stove. Get a drink of water. Put on lip gloss. Read a news story about a murder in Cedar Mill.<\/p>\n

If I have this much trouble staying focused on\u00a0 what I’m saying to myself, it’s really no wonder that I have a hard time listening to other people.\u00a0 Yes, I think of this as talking to myself.<\/p>\n

Clearly I’m not making as much improvement at being present as I thought I was, and listening is all about being present and really focusing your attention on what someone is saying.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Try, try again…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Were you saying something?<\/p>\n

It’s not kind to say “I told you so.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At least I’m good at the silent part, at least on the outside.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0Signal fading, listen to what I’m saying Testing, testing This better be worth all of the breath I’m wasting –Elvis Costello\/Radio Silence   Silent is an anagram for listen. Coincidence? Well, yeah, it’s a coincidence–but it’s one worth noting. I am not a terrific listener sometimes. At work, it’s easier. I’m paid to pay attention. … Continue reading You said something<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1821","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-tn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1065,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1065","url_meta":{"origin":1821,"position":0},"title":"Sometimes things are just a little too surreal around me when they are combined","author":"Michelle","date":"August 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 At the gym,\u00a0 there's always a lot going on. People walking and driving by in front of the gym, people working out, several TVs on, and like most folks doing cardio I listen to music. Set iTunes to shuffle and go. This afternoon I was trying not to sing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2877,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2877","url_meta":{"origin":1821,"position":1},"title":"I’m positive I’m a dumbass, OK?","author":"Michelle","date":"December 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been talking to the wall and it's been answering me Oh darling how I miss you I'm just the mere shadow of my former selfishness --Elvis Costello\/Human Hands Oh, don't worry. My selfishness level is at a perfectly normal operating level. 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You have to take responsibility for listening. --Banana Yoshimoto\/Lake \u00a0 Usually what is going on in my immediate surroundings and what I'm\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9172,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9172","url_meta":{"origin":1821,"position":4},"title":"A brief pause in the flow of words","author":"Michelle","date":"January 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear blog, Please excuse Michelle for not writing any words tonight. She was spinning. Bike spinning, not yarn spinning. Then she was cooking bacon and mushrooms. Then she was talking. And maybe drinking adult beverages. And then they had to eat the bacon and mushrooms. And the avocado. 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