{"id":2235,"date":"2013-10-29T06:02:42","date_gmt":"2013-10-29T13:02:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=2235"},"modified":"2013-10-29T06:48:46","modified_gmt":"2013-10-29T13:48:46","slug":"the-boys-of-summer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2235","title":{"rendered":"The boys of Summer…I hate them."},"content":{"rendered":"

Take me out to the ball game
\nTake me out with the crowd
\nBuy me some peanuts and crackerjacks
\nI don’t care if I never get back<\/p>\n

–J.Norworth\/Take Me Out To The Ballgame<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Mark has the World Series on, and I’m just going to come right out and say it: I do not like\u00a0 baseball.\u00a0 No, not even when the World Series is on. If someone happens to drag me to a baseball game on a warm Summer evening, I don’t mind too much. There’s beer and hotdogs. You can chat with your friends in the sun. Throw peanuts.<\/p>\n

But on TV? No. No. No.<\/p>\n

What do I find so objectionable about it?<\/p>\n

Everything, pretty much.<\/p>\n

The spitting. I don’t like spitting in any sport, but it baseball the spitting is out of fucking control. Sitting and watching any closeup shots of the dugout is just unbearable. They must have to put the cleaning crew in hazmat suits. That’s a lot of sputum from a lot of countries where drug resistant TB is rampant. Just. Ewwww.<\/p>\n

The slow pace. You can tell me the game is full of nuance and strategy all you want. I’m still bored.<\/p>\n

The uniforms. I hear women talk about how sexy they are, and I do NOT get it. They make all of the men wearing them look like fat oafs. I’m pretty sure they aren’t really fat oafs, but those pants sure don’t do them any justice!<\/p>\n

The scraggly beards.\u00a0 Baseball players have got to be the most unattractive of all the professional athletes between the goat beards and the hideous pants.\u00a0 Make them shave. Or at least trim their beards so they don’t look like they have a bad case of the mange.<\/p>\n

The interminable length of some of the games. If it goes past 12 innings, they need to flip a coin or something. I’m going to bed.<\/p>\n

An excessive number of games. They play what seems like 95 games a week for about 7 months out of the year.\u00a0 And the same teams play night after night. Play 2 games a week for 3 or 4 months and call it good. No one will care. ***<\/p>\n

The destruction of the 7th inning stretch. They have obviously caused far more serious geo-political havoc, but did you know that Al-Qaeda have ruined the 7th inning stretch, too?\u00a0\u00a0 Nothing against “God Bless America,” but the song you are supposed to sing is “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.”\u00a0 Sing the national anthem at the beginning of the game. You don’t need the entire game to be a continuous salute to America. It’s a sports event.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And don’t try to call me a Commie because I don’t like it. That doesn’t work anymore–half the players are Cuban. Commies DO like baseball.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The caps are cute though. Who doesn’t like a baseball cap?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

***Note: I was concerned that I might have inadvertently exaggerated the length of the season, so I looked it up and I have not. The regular season is 26 weeks long. For those of you who are as math impaired as I am, that is half the year. Tack on the post season and that is 4 months too much baseball.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Take me out to the ball game Take me out with the crowd Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks I don’t care if I never get back –J.Norworth\/Take Me Out To The Ballgame   Mark has the World Series on, and I’m just going to come right out and say it: I do not like\u00a0 … Continue reading The boys of Summer…I hate them.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2235","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-A3","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11871,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11871","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":0},"title":"Is this thing even on?","author":"Michelle","date":"March 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Yeah. This whole daily writing thing. Suddenly it just-poof-disappeared! What was with that? Is it coming back? Nah. It's been done. Occasionally? Maybe. I have thoughts now and then. Sometimes I miss spitting them out here. It could be good to get them out of my head and onto virtual\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5009,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5009","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":1},"title":"NSFW: Blow jobs and magic","author":"Michelle","date":"April 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This post might be considered offensive by some people. If you are at all offended by sex, or people (me) talking about it, this might be a post for you to skip. Or, if you are my mother. Thanks. \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Seriously, Mom. Don't say I didn't warn you.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/20140414-183214.jpg?fit=300%2C225&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9146,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9146","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":2},"title":"A perfect day?","author":"Michelle","date":"January 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Two of us riding nowhere Spending someone's Hard earned pay You and me Sunday driving Not arriving On our way back home --the Beatles\/Two of Us Go for a ride together. Motorcycle, car, boat, train, small plane, helicopter, whatever. Going somewhere, anywhere, nowhere in particular. They used to call it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":432,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=432","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":3},"title":"What’s Your Favorite Book?","author":"Michelle","date":"July 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPicking five favorite books is like picking the five body parts you'd most like not to lose.\u201d --Neil Gaiman \u00a0 Seriously. \u00a0 It's hopeless. For one thing, there's the sheer number of books that are wonderful. People have been writing them for a long, long time you know. The end\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10050,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10050","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":4},"title":"An imaginary conversation about simple questions","author":"Michelle","date":"May 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Are you a cat person or dog person? Cat. Definitely. I love cats. You? Mostly a dog person. I thought you told me you have a cat? I do have a cat. He's sitting on my feet purring right now.\u00a0 But you don't like him? Sure. I just like dogs\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1477,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1477","url_meta":{"origin":2235,"position":5},"title":"Just a song before I go","author":"Michelle","date":"September 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"1 2 3 Turn it up. --Lynyrd Skynyrd\/Sweet Home Alabama Music and cars. Between Summer road trips and football games, I spend a lot of time in the car this time of year. That means a lot of music. It's a home game weekend, and Mark has a wedding to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","block_context":{"text":"Music","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2235","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2235"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2235\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2235"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2235"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2235"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}