{"id":2352,"date":"2013-11-05T06:08:12","date_gmt":"2013-11-05T14:08:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=2352"},"modified":"2013-11-04T21:23:11","modified_gmt":"2013-11-05T05:23:11","slug":"social-networking-for-the-socially-awkward","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2352","title":{"rendered":"Social networking for the socially awkward"},"content":{"rendered":"

I think I’ve lived a little too long
\non the outskirts of town
\nI think I’m going insane
\nfrom talking to myself for so long.
\nOh but I’ve never been accused.<\/p>\n

–Elvis Costello\/Blame It On Cain<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

So what’s a shy, socially awkward dork to do when she has no friends but doesn’t have her act together enough to actually talk to people in person?<\/p>\n

Type.<\/p>\n

She should type.<\/p>\n

The Internet gets a lot of shit for being a waste of time, and it can be, but you know what?<\/p>\n

It has saved my ass from my own social awkwardness and gotten me through some pretty horrendous stuff. Stuff I’d have been challenged to deal with on my own. For those of us who are verbally challenged, but still basically enjoy people if we know them, the Internet is a real gift. At least for those of us who enjoy writing.<\/p>\n

I’ve always had an easier time writing than talking, so chat rooms and Facebook are perfect for me. I can get to know people a little bit before I actually talk to them in person, and then when I do meet them in person, it’s so much less traumatic for me to actually use words. I can almost act like a normal person.<\/p>\n

I said almost.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Of course, just like in real life, Internet conversations are fraught with peril. You don’t get tone of voice. Sarcasm can seem like cruelty. Jokes maybe aren’t so funny. Replies get out of sync and things get complicated. It’s really easy to say things that you don’t mean. Or things that you do mean and maybe shouldn’t say or should only say very carefully. If you can’t see the stricken look on someone’s face, you don’t know when you’ve wounded them. If they can’t see tears in your eyes, they don’t know they’ve shot an arrow right into your heart.<\/p>\n

So you don’t back down, until maybe it’s just a little too late.<\/p>\n

I guess maybe I’m just bad at talking regardless of the context.<\/p>\n

I’m considering a career in hermit-ism after football season. I can clearly not be trusted to either speak to people coherently either in the real world or online.<\/p>\n

Being a hermit doesn’t pay very well, does it? Maybe I can work remotely from my cave (they have Internet access in caves, right?)…I’ll\u00a0 just need to make enough money\u00a0 to keep myself supplied with false eyelashes and black eyeliner.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Even hermits want to look good.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I’ve lived a little too long on the outskirts of town I think I’m going insane from talking to myself for so long. Oh but I’ve never been accused. –Elvis Costello\/Blame It On Cain       So what’s a shy, socially awkward dork to do when she has no friends but doesn’t … Continue reading Social networking for the socially awkward<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2352","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-BW","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8829,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8829","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":0},"title":"Stocking up…on solitude","author":"Michelle","date":"December 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Solitude is fine but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine. --Honor\u00e9 de Balzac If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. --Jean-Paul Sartre I\u2019ll read my books and I\u2019ll drink coffee and I\u2019ll listen to music, and I\u2019ll bolt the door. --JD Salinger As someone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1927,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1927","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":1},"title":"Hello, it’s me","author":"Michelle","date":"October 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm just wondering why I feel so all alone Why I'm a stranger in my own life -Sheryl Crow\/Every Day Is A Winding Road \u00a0 This is how it goes: One more failure to connect With so many how could I object? --Aimee Mann\/This Is How It Goes \u00a0 It\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7932,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7932","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":2},"title":"An imaginary conversation about not talking enough","author":"Michelle","date":"October 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I know I am still more than a little socially moronic now, but you didn't know me when I was really bad. You didn't talk to anyone all night! I smiled at people, and followed their conversations. Tried to follow. I don't pick out voices very well in a crowd.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6430,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6430","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":3},"title":"Ready, aim…","author":"Michelle","date":"July 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"My aim is true --Elvis Costello My aim is askew --me We all know people like me. The ones who don't ever quite know what to say. The ones who try not to say anything, because when we do it is sure to be all wrong. Those ones. I've already\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140630-181633-65793464.jpg?fit=225%2C225&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10116,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10116","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":4},"title":"Talk, talk","author":"Michelle","date":"May 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"When you spend 3 hours a day talking to someone on the phone, it doesn't leave a lot of room for writing. That isn't a complaint, I've loved it. Looking forward to talking more, in fact.\u00a0 Yes. The phone. I know. It's very retro. Talking on the phone isn't really\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2622,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2622","url_meta":{"origin":2352,"position":5},"title":"Friends, lovers or other","author":"Michelle","date":"December 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Friends, lovers, or nothing You see There can only be one Friends, lovers, or nothing We'll never be an inbetween So give it up --John Mayer\/Friends, Lovers or Nothing With most people you interact with on a regular basis, you have some sort of defined relationship. 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