{"id":2615,"date":"2013-11-21T06:05:00","date_gmt":"2013-11-21T14:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=2615"},"modified":"2013-11-20T22:07:39","modified_gmt":"2013-11-21T06:07:39","slug":"dating-game-redux","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2615","title":{"rendered":"Dating game redux"},"content":{"rendered":"

\nLast Friday night
\nWe went streaking in the park
\nSkinny dipping in the dark
\nThen had a m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois
\n–Katy Perry\/Friday Night<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In my fairly long foray into the world of online dating, I had a lot of time to look at people’s user profiles. Obviously, I looked at the guys most often, but I also looked at the other women’s profiles as well. Curiosity killed the cat and all. I wouldn’t want to be a dead cat. <\/p>\n

I think my profile read a lot like my blog. It was conversational, and gave a lot of information about me without going into a lot of specific personal detail. There was even a song quote. Yes, it was Elvis Costello. A line from “Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes” I think. I put a fair amount of time into my profile, and I wanted it to be as much like me as I could make it. It was a surprise to me that a lot of people didn’t put any effort into their profiles at all. There’d be an age range, maybe a brief physical description and that’s it. \u00a0Hint to people trying to do online dating: \u00a0women do not respond to messages if there is not a picture and if there is not a profile filled out.<\/p>\n

What was equally surprising is what kind of stuff some people put in their profiles. I’m not even counting the ones that were obviously only looking for sex. That wasn’t surprising at all. Entertaining, but not surprising. I often wondered how awkward those first dates were. Do you suppose they were more or less awkward than regular dates? If anyone has ever been on some of those encounters, please let me know. I mean, I have had dates that have ended up that way, but it wasn’t the sole purpose of the date. <\/p>\n

Many women would include desired ranges not only for age, but also for height, weight, hair quantity and income. Occasionally you’d see “must drive a car less than xx years old.” Most of the women who included \u00a0income limits were blonde, and appeared to be surgically altered. Some would call them trophy wife material. Some of them who were more extremely enhanced were more like trophy mistress material. Author Christopher Moore more unkindly referred to them as Fuck Puppets. <\/p>\n

Both men and women included age ranges, but some men were looking 20 years younger to 5 yrs younger and wouldn’t even \u00a0consider dating someone their own age. Usually they would include some sort of bullshit about how they were soooo excessively young for
\n their age that no woman their own age could ever possibly keep up with them. \u00a0I normally read that as “I am the King of all Douchebags. Do not date me!” and kept looking. <\/p>\n

Most women included age ranges that were fairly large. I think mine was about 10 years younger to 10 years older than I was at the time. Most of the guys who asked me out were much younger than I was. That was at least partially due to the lack of computer users over 35 at the time. <\/p>\n

A \u00a0lot of women were only willing to date men with a full head of hair. This is, in my opinion, \u00a0possibly the single most moronic dating criteria you could ever possibly have. Don’t get me wrong–I love a good head of hair as much as anyone. Dave Grohl is my imaginary boyfriend. But I’ve dated guys with receding hairlines. It just isn’t something important. It’s just as stupid as a height requirement. What’s wrong with a cute short guy?<\/p>\n

Men would sometimes include strict weight \u00a0or dress size limits as well as a required hotness level. Usually 8 or above. The men with these requirements were typically roundish, balding and not that great looking. Double standard? Interestingly, the women with similar standards about looks were usually good looking. In a high maintenance sort of way. <\/p>\n

Men and women who featured sporty attire in their profiles often included some sort of fitness\/activity requirement. Sometimes it read as a fat check, but often made sense. Someone super fit who spends every weekend mountain biking and skiing would probably not like dating someone who likes to do nothing but read and write. And vice versa. <\/p>\n

So, basically, some people are just as asinine in the online dating world as they are in person.<\/p>\n

That’s probably not a shock to anyone.<\/p>\n

Questions about how many m\u00e9nages \u00e0 trois I have participated in commence in 3…2…1….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last Friday night We went streaking in the park Skinny dipping in the dark Then had a m\u00e9nage \u00e0 trois –Katy Perry\/Friday Night In my fairly long foray into the world of online dating, I had a lot of time to look at people’s user profiles. Obviously, I looked at the guys most often, but … Continue reading Dating game redux<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2615","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-Gb","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2537,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2537","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":0},"title":"The dating game","author":"Michelle","date":"November 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"There was this guy? And he looked like he might have been a hatcheck clerk In an ice rink. Which, in fact, he turned out to be. And I said oh boy. Right. Again. --Laurie Anderson\/Let X = X It has always been really hard to connect with new people\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/20131118-211037.jpg?fit=300%2C225&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9325,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9325","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":1},"title":"Online dating, the plus side","author":"Michelle","date":"February 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Just because you feel, hollow inside it's real I'm gonna put something in you Make the devil feel surprised --Mazzy Star\/All Your Sisters If someone has filled out their online dating profile in their own words and answered a representative sample of the entertainingly intrusive questions you can get a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9353,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9353","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":2},"title":"Online dating, the minus side","author":"Michelle","date":"February 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"So there is fair coverage, here is a look at some of the things about online dating that are not so great. It can be sleazy. With the right person, I have an extremely high tolerance for filth and perversion. But. But. Not if it is some random guy I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9212,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9212","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":3},"title":"Sexuality and online dating","author":"Michelle","date":"February 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I have yet to actually meet anyone in person from the online dating site I've signed up for. One near miss. What has happened is that I have gotten a lot of messages about my looks. Badly spelled messages. There are a handful of people who I will possibly meet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11390,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11390","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":4},"title":"Curiouser and curiouser","author":"Michelle","date":"April 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"This is what happens when I wake up curious in the middle of the night... --Me When I wake up in the middle of the night I sometimes find myself heading down a rabbit hole. It might be a rabbit hole involving a book, or a niggling idea that wants\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10137,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10137","url_meta":{"origin":2615,"position":5},"title":"Kismet and chemistry","author":"Michelle","date":"June 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I recently met someone in person who I have been talking to online for a few months on a very regular basis. 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