{"id":2877,"date":"2013-12-04T06:10:34","date_gmt":"2013-12-04T14:10:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=2877"},"modified":"2013-12-03T22:33:20","modified_gmt":"2013-12-04T06:33:20","slug":"human-hands","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2877","title":{"rendered":"I’m positive I’m a dumbass, OK?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve been talking to the wall and it’s been answering me
\nOh darling how I miss you
\nI’m just the mere shadow of my former selfishness
\n–Elvis Costello\/Human Hands<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Oh, don’t worry. My selfishness level is at a perfectly normal operating level.
\nSometimes the walls answer me though,
\nbut never tell me anything I want to hear.
\nWhy is that?
\nI mean, I know that when the walls answer me it’s me talking to myself. I may be a little crazy, but I’m not insane.<\/p>\n

The question is: why can’t I manage to say nicer things when I’m the one saying them to myself?
\nI’d never talk to other people the way I do to myself.
\nHardly ever, anyway.<\/p>\n

They say that it’s important to use positive self affirmations in self talk.
\nI agree, they are<\/em> kind of pompous.
\nWhy don’t<\/em> they just say you should be nicer to yourself?
\nWouldn’t that be clearer for everyone?
\nNot that we would listen anyway.
\nWell, maybe we would listen if someone else told us. We don’t seem to listen to ourselves very well.
\nWhy is that?<\/p>\n

Yes, this is kind of what it sounds like in my head a lot of the time only with more profanity.
\nThat’s why I call myself a dumbass so often.
\nIf you sounded like this, you might call yourself names too.<\/p>\n

Maybe you do sound like this, how would I know?<\/p>\n

So let’s make a deal:
\nLet’s try to be nicer to ourselves a little bit more.
\nLet’s not go overboard about it. I mean, sometimes you have to kick yourself in the ass. You just do.
\nI’m not saying we should wake up in the morning and get all Stuart Smalley, but would it kill us to treat ourselves as civilly as we would treat a stranger? Or with as much compassion as we treat our friends?<\/p>\n

It probably won’t kill us.<\/p>\n

If I die tomorrow, please stop being nice to yourselves because it might turn out it actually is lethal.<\/p>\n

If I don’t die tomorrow, either I’ve failed to be kind to myself or it isn’t lethal.
\nEither way, it’s a win for me.<\/p>\n

Wait, what?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve been talking to the wall and it’s been answering me Oh darling how I miss you I’m just the mere shadow of my former selfishness –Elvis Costello\/Human Hands Oh, don’t worry. My selfishness level is at a perfectly normal operating level. Sometimes the walls answer me though, but never tell me anything I want … Continue reading I’m positive I’m a dumbass, OK?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2877","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-Kp","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2895,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2895","url_meta":{"origin":2877,"position":0},"title":"So hard to explain","author":"Michelle","date":"December 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Poor little girl Ran away for good I try to explain Why she won't say a thing Sad, sad thing I'm so far away now How can I say Why she won't talk at all --X\/Poor Little Girl I have always been fond of explanations. 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