{"id":2930,"date":"2013-12-08T06:10:56","date_gmt":"2013-12-08T14:10:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=2930"},"modified":"2013-12-07T21:01:39","modified_gmt":"2013-12-08T05:01:39","slug":"my-love-has-gone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2930","title":{"rendered":"Paradise lost"},"content":{"rendered":"

Love ain’t on my side, love ain’t special, love ain’t great
\nLost in a fog, amusing spite to find my way
\nWhere did you go? I still curse you to this day
\n–Josh Rouse\/My Love Has Gone<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sometimes love can be hard. <\/p>\n

Yes, it’s wonderful
\nYes, it’s the most important thing in life once you’ve got your survival basics covered.
\nYes, it’s even a many splendored fucking thing.<\/p>\n

When all the puzzle pieces are put together properly, and the heart and soul unite, there is nothing like it. I think descriptions of Heaven are based on how you feel when you are in that phase of love where it’s perfect, including the radiant glow. There’s total trust and faith, total love and total belief in each other. Throw in sexual compatibility and you’ve got one powerful feeling. <\/p>\n

So what’s the problem? Love is love. It’s patient and kind, right? Not so much. Not always.
\nAt times, love is a badass motherfucker who knocks you down, steals your wallet and then kicks you in the head just because it can. Then, just to fuck with you some more, it runs off with your husband and keys your car. On a really bad day, it also knocks up your daughter.<\/p>\n

Love is sometimes a real bitch.<\/p>\n

When it’s all good? It is. It’s all good. Then…when it’s gone for one of you, what happens?
\nEven in a good breakup, one where neither of you is a bad person. One where no one means to hurt anyone When one person stops loving the other one, it’s never the same again. Especially for the one who gets left. The one who leaves has at least the benefit of choice. The one who is left is…left. Even if it’s for the best, it’s never easy to be the person who gets left.<\/p>\n

Instead of having all of the pieces of your heart neatly assembled, and going through life in that radiant loving glow? You’re no longer part of that. It’s not that people are different from how they were yesterday. It’s not that life is really any harder than it was before you fell in love. It’s like being cast out of Paradise. Real life is colder and harder than Heaven, and colder and harder than being in love. So having the same sort of life you had before doesn’t feel the same because you know what perfect is now. And it’s gone. You’re back in the cold, empty, rainy Default World again, and it feels like being in Hell, but only because it isn’t Heaven any more.<\/p>\n

It sucks.<\/p>\n

And there’s really no way around it except to avoid having your heart broken. Which is impossible. I would guess that almost all adults have had their hearts broken at least once. You can avoid falling in love, I suppose, but there’s a pretty huge downside to that.<\/p>\n

You don’t get to be in love.<\/p>\n

Being in love like that is amazing. I think it only really happens once. After that, we don’t have the same faith that we do that first time. Is it worth it? <\/p>\n

Walking in Heaven, even for a short time?
\nWouldn’t you want to?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Love ain’t on my side, love ain’t special, love ain’t great Lost in a fog, amusing spite to find my way Where did you go? I still curse you to this day –Josh Rouse\/My Love Has Gone Sometimes love can be hard. Yes, it’s wonderful Yes, it’s the most important thing in life once you’ve … Continue reading Paradise lost<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-Lg","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10200,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10200","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":0},"title":"Learning how to smile","author":"Michelle","date":"June 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I can't handle how the hell it happens every day When you smile and touch my face You make it all just go away Yes I know there ain't no finish line,\u00a0 I know this never ends But I'm just learning how to fall,\u00a0 climb back up again --Everclear\/Learning How\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1361,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1361","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":1},"title":"Arguing with inspirational quotes on Twitter","author":"Michelle","date":"September 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 So let's leave it alone 'cause we can't see eye to eye There ain't no good guy, there ain't no bad guy There's only you and me and we just disagree --Dave Mason\/We Just Disagree \u00a0 There is an odd attraction to following the inspirational quotes feeds on Twitter,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "insanity"","block_context":{"text":"insanity","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=3"},"img":{"alt_text":"Niezsche is wrong","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/Screen-shot-2013-09-07-at-8.26.48-AM-300x103.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4764,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4764","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":2},"title":"My early life in songs","author":"Michelle","date":"April 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Music has always been part of my daily life. Always. For as long as I can remember. I drive with it. I write with it. I read with it. I knit to it. I have music in my head when I wake up and when I go to sleep. I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3340,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3340","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":3},"title":"Sunday girl","author":"Michelle","date":"January 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"And the child that is born on the Sabbath day Is bonny and blithe and good and gay. --Traditional verse I saw a girl from a lonely street Cold as ice cream but still as sweet Dry your eyes, Sunday Girl --Blondie\/Sunday Girl I was born on a Sunday a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/20140106-093025.jpg?fit=300%2C295&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":51,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=51","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":4},"title":"Who wants to learn anything anyway?","author":"Michelle","date":"September 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Yes I know there ain't no finish line, I know this never ends But I'm just learning how to fall, climb back up again I know there is nothing perfect, I know there is nothing new --Everclear\/Learning How To Smile \u00a0 Once upon a time, there was a girl.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2879,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2879","url_meta":{"origin":2930,"position":5},"title":"In which I am NOT one with everything","author":"Michelle","date":"December 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Keep your head up girl Keep your head up The sun ain't hard to see Just turn off your TV Everything around you Is just part of every other thing, I'm a tree --Imani Coppola\/I'm A Tree Just for the record, I am not a fucking tree. 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