{"id":3155,"date":"2013-12-21T05:20:06","date_gmt":"2013-12-21T13:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=3155"},"modified":"2013-12-20T16:43:39","modified_gmt":"2013-12-21T00:43:39","slug":"pearl-this-motherfucker","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3155","title":{"rendered":"Pearl this, motherfucker"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The other day at work, I was following up with a friend and colleague about a long term project we&#8217;ve been working on. It&#8217;s one of those grinding, every day, horrible, drudgery-filled things where it&#8217;s important but low visibility.  Multiple teams have to collaborate. None of them want to.  I have no authority over any of the teams involved, but one of my jobs is wrangling them, and making sure that problems get dealt with completely. It involves a lot of what would be called &#8220;coordination&#8221; if I was of the male gender. Because I am of the female gender it is often referred to as &#8220;being a bitch.&#8221; Whatever. If they would do their fucking jobs without continual prompting, they wouldn&#8217;t need coordination OR bitching.<\/p>\n<p>It is a part of my job that I dislike intensely, but I am good at it. <\/p>\n<p>We were discussing how much progress we&#8217;ve made over the last several weeks, and when I told him how glad I would be to get out of bitch mode for a while, he said:<br \/>\n&#8220;It takes a lot of irritation and friction to get a pearl.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I poked him in the eye because, because nobody wants to be referred to as irritation and friction even in a metaphor. Not even the kind of irritation that results in a valuable pearl being created. OK. I didn&#8217;t poke him in the eye. I told him to stop being so fucking wise, and he called me Minnie Pearl. I could tell there was no winning, so I went back to my desk. <\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s what my job is like.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The other day at work, I was following up with a friend and colleague about a long term project we&#8217;ve been working on. It&#8217;s one of those grinding, every day, horrible, drudgery-filled things where it&#8217;s important but low visibility. Multiple teams have to collaborate. None of them want to. I have no authority over any &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3155\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Pearl this, motherfucker<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-OT","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1876,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1876","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":0},"title":"Mind the gender gap","author":"Michelle","date":"November 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I used to be the bright one Smart as a whip Funny how you slip so far when Teachers don't keep track of it --The Dresden Dolls\/Perfect Fit \u00a0 Back in the olden days, as I have mentioned before, I used to be a Smart Girl. I loved school in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9212,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9212","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":1},"title":"Sexuality and online dating","author":"Michelle","date":"February 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I have yet to actually meet anyone in person from the online dating site I've signed up for. One near miss. What has happened is that I have gotten a lot of messages about my looks. Badly spelled messages. There are a handful of people who I will possibly meet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2373,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2373","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":2},"title":"Try it, you might like it","author":"Michelle","date":"November 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I like it simply cuz I like it. The weather, it's pretty I think I'm gonna hike it. No matter where I go There I am. It's simple I like it I like it I like it --Imani Coppola\/Soon (I like It) \u00a0 How many things are there that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11697,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11697","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":3},"title":"Looking at the want ads","author":"Michelle","date":"October 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you my friend Any minor world that breaks apart falls together again When the demon is at your door In the morning it won't be there no more Any major dude will tell you --Steely Dan Right now it feels\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Random thoughts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2769,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2769","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":4},"title":"Want some doubt with those fries?","author":"Michelle","date":"November 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This is why first impressions are often correct. Although some people might have made mistakes. They may have arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them. They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse. Some may have gotten half-way there, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11471,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11471","url_meta":{"origin":3155,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about compliments","author":"Michelle","date":"April 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"So the other night, this guy told me he likes me because our conversations are random and weird. Oh, I'm sorry! Why? It was a great compliment. It was? Sometimes I don't think you know me at all... You do say weird things a lot. Right. And it's one of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3155","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3155"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3155\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3155"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3155"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3155"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}