{"id":3640,"date":"2014-01-28T05:10:05","date_gmt":"2014-01-28T13:10:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=3640"},"modified":"2014-01-27T21:18:38","modified_gmt":"2014-01-28T05:18:38","slug":"this-is-not-about-penises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3640","title":{"rendered":"This is not about penises"},"content":{"rendered":"<blockquote><p>\nIsn&#8217;t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn&#8217;t it frightfully good to have a dong?<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s swell to have a stiffy.<br \/>\nIt&#8217;s divine to own a dick,<br \/>\nFrom the tiniest little tadger<br \/>\nTo the world&#8217;s biggest prick.<br \/>\nSo, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.<br \/>\nHooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,<br \/>\nYour piece of pork, your wife&#8217;s best friend,<br \/>\nYour Percy, or your cock.<br \/>\nYou can wrap it up in ribbons.<br \/>\nYou can slip it in your sock,<br \/>\nBut don&#8217;t take it out in public,<br \/>\nOr they will stick you in the dock,<br \/>\nAnd you won&#8217;t come back.<br \/>\n&#8211;Monty Python\/The Meaning Of Life\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This is a test, of sorts. For some reason, and I&#8217;m sure it isn&#8217;t because my friends and family are all a bunch of perverts and freaks, I&#8217;ve noticed that traffic on the blog really increases whenever there is genital content.  Or any mention of sex. Or reading. Which is an odd twist. I think my reading list actually got more hits than anything. That&#8217;s somewhat reassuring.<\/p>\n<p>Actually, I do know a lot of perverts and freaks, so maybe that IS what drives traffic.<\/p>\n<p>Actually, I don&#8217;t know a LOT of perverts and freaks. Some. Not a lot. Plus, it&#8217;s not like I have thousands of readers. A dozen, maybe. If that. That&#8217;s what happens when there is no actual content involved.  <\/p>\n<p>I suspect there are some people who are perverts and freaks who I don&#8217;t suspect at all. <\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m on vacation right now, so I don&#8217;t even care!<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/20140127-221741.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/20140127-221741.jpg?w=660&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"20140127-221741.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/20140127-221751.jpg?ssl=1\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/20140127-221751.jpg?w=660&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"20140127-221751.jpg\" class=\"alignnone size-full\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Isn&#8217;t it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn&#8217;t it frightfully good to have a dong? It&#8217;s swell to have a stiffy. It&#8217;s divine to own a dick, From the tiniest little tadger To the world&#8217;s biggest prick. So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas. Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake, Your piece &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3640\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">This is not about penises<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3640","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-WI","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9167,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9167","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":0},"title":"On not doing things I enjoy doing","author":"Michelle","date":"January 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever noticed that you tend to have a really long list of things you enjoy doing, most of which you don't actually do very often? Music, reading, writing, photography, travel, pedicures, massages, yoga, drawing, knitting, learning new languages, ice skating and roller skating, spin classes, long walks, going\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8201,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8201","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":1},"title":"What, huh?","author":"Michelle","date":"November 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"It hasn't exactly been a big secret that I have been having some difficulties with focus. Partially situational. OK, it's a hefty part. A lot of it is chronic though. I have never been very good at concentrating on one thing for long. I haven't ever had to. It sounds\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/IMG_1698.jpg?fit=276%2C359&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9649,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9649","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":2},"title":"Something&#8217;s got to give..","author":"Michelle","date":"March 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"At a certain point, I just need to cut back on something. If I am going to write, I need to write.\u00a0But what should I cut back?Oh, right.\u00a0Something that isn't important.\u00a0But it's all important.\u00a0Well, fuck.\u00a0Priorities. I'm going to have to set them: getting some exercise, reading, writing, having dinner, going\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/IMG_2670.jpg?fit=500%2C338&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":9805,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9805","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":3},"title":"An imaginary conversation about things I have not read","author":"Michelle","date":"April 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I've never read \"King Lear.\" \u00a0Isn't that weird?Most people probably haven't. They don't teach Shakespeare like they used to.\u00a0I'm supposed to be well read. A well read person should have read it.\u00a0You can't read everything.\u00a0No. I can't.\u00a0What got you all wound up about \"King Lear?\"I'm not wound up about it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1995,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=1995","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":4},"title":"Don&#8217;t worry, be happy","author":"Michelle","date":"October 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 Sitting here in Queens Eating refried beans We're in all the magazines Gulpin' down thorazines --the Ramones\/We're A Happy Family \u00a0 \u00a0 On Twitter I see multiple links every day to articles that give you \"secrets\" to being happy.\u00a0 I tend to think that reading about it won't make\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8518,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8518","url_meta":{"origin":3640,"position":5},"title":"Getting behind in my reading","author":"Michelle","date":"December 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This is something I hate. Getting behind in my reading. On the one hand, I love having unread books. On the other...ugh....err....unread! Danger, danger! Must...read... But... Life gets in the way. It's been well documented that I have had a very very fuzzy several months, intellectually. Personal upheaval will do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3640","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3640"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3640\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3640"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3640"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3640"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}