{"id":395,"date":"2013-07-21T06:00:24","date_gmt":"2013-07-21T13:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=395"},"modified":"2013-07-20T11:58:19","modified_gmt":"2013-07-20T18:58:19","slug":"in-defense-of-whimsy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=395","title":{"rendered":"The Importance of Being Well Groomed"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s
\nAnd his hair was perfect.
\n–Warren Zevon<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It must take a lot of work for\u00a0 werewolves to keep their hair looking perfect. Especially during the full moon, when all they want is to run amok and howl at the moon and such. Keeping the blood and gore\u00a0 from getting their hair all matted and nasty must be such<\/em> a challenge!<\/p>\n

No one will ever compliment me on my perfect hair, but that’s OK. I have many other qualities that more than off-set my hair failure. (Hair Failure is also a good band name. I hope someone is keeping track.)I have trouble even remembering to brush mine before work. On the other hand,\u00a0 I hardly ever get blood and gore in my hair, so hey! Bonus points for me!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There are only a few hit songs about werewolves, and\u00a0 none of the others songs feature weres who (who, or that?) are\u00a0 as urbane as Zevon’s Chinese-food eating, pina colada-swilling fiend with the perfect hair.<\/p>\n

Monster grooming doesn’t get much attention in the Pop world. So little emphasis is placed on monster grooming once you get past Bride of Frankenstein.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

That being said, if the werewolf in question looks anything like Alcide Herveaux<\/a> from True Blood, then his hair doesn’t have to be perfectly groomed. In fact, I’d prefer that he not waste any time at all on combing it.\u00a0 I’ll just stand right here and lick my non-werewolf chops, messy hair and all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Alcide\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His hair is<\/em> perfect.<\/p>\n

Even if he isn’t at Trader Vic’s.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Important side note:<\/p>\n

What is not<\/em> optional is excellent oral hygiene.<\/p>\n

With a werewolf, you never know where that mouth has been, so\u00a0 good brushing is especially crucial.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s And his hair was perfect. –Warren Zevon   It must take a lot of work for\u00a0 werewolves to keep their hair looking perfect. Especially during the full moon, when all they want is to run amok and howl at the moon and such. Keeping … Continue reading The Importance of Being Well Groomed<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":406,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-hmmm","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/07\/Alcide.jpg?fit=300%2C400&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-6n","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5635,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5635","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":0},"title":"Personal grooming preferences. Very personal grooming preferences.","author":"Michelle","date":"May 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm going to end up in Mexican pubic hair jail. --Me\/On discovering that my pubic hair preferences differ from those of my travel companions on the way to Cabo It's been a little gloomy around the blog lately with all my thinking about body image. This is still going to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4141,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4141","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":1},"title":"You’ve got to give up some things","author":"Michelle","date":"February 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"There I was, just like every morning, standing in front of the bathroom mirror putting on my black eyeliner. Pretty eyes are my armor, my superstitious belief is that black eye liner will protect me from harm. I've been harmed, sometimes badly, on multiple occasions, so I'm not sure my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3542,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3542","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":2},"title":"Taking “things” personally","author":"Michelle","date":"February 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Guys, you might want to skip this one because I'm going to talk about a subject you might not appreciate: male impotence. There was a stretch in my life where several guys I dated in a row were impotent. Not just slow to arise, but...just...nothing going. I am sure it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6088,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6088","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":3},"title":"On being poor…or rather poorer","author":"Michelle","date":"June 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"With some of the recent events in my life..events that I am the cause of...I find myself in a position where I can no longer just buy shit on any whim. $60 candles? Another black eyeliner? Fluevogs? Today I felt like curling my hair and realized I have no way\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140606-094852-35332494.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3418,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3418","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":4},"title":"Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes","author":"Michelle","date":"January 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"People. You can never change the way they feel Better let them do just what they will For they will If you let them Steal your heart from you. --George Michael\/Kissing A Fool Sometimes the way people feel does change, sometimes even because of something you do...but it isn't something\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9652,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9652","url_meta":{"origin":395,"position":5},"title":"Things I like","author":"Michelle","date":"March 28, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"You've probably noticed that I like a lot of things. Way more things than I dislike. Tonight, I am grateful for one thing in particular: guys who have perfectly messy \u00a0hair and are not afraid to commit excessive public displays of affection in sports bars. Or is that two things?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=395"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/395\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/406"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}