{"id":3959,"date":"2014-02-11T04:00:10","date_gmt":"2014-02-11T12:00:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=3959"},"modified":"2014-02-10T21:39:32","modified_gmt":"2014-02-11T05:39:32","slug":"what-does-samael-do-when-he-is-bored-and-mara-has-things-to-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3959","title":{"rendered":"How do you train an angel?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Mara reclined in the sun on her chaise lounge, with a novel and a glass of red wine at her side after a particularly acrobatic evening with Samael who did not appear to be the least bit tired. He never was. In fact, he was full of energy in spite of having cleaned both of the bathrooms, washed and dried the dishes, done 2 loads of laundry and dusted the whole house. He was currently humming an exotic tune while he vaccumed the carpets upstairs. Was there anything sexier, she wondered, than an incubus in an apron? <\/p>\n<p>Samael nuzzled her neck. He did not appear to be wearing anything. Not even an apron. And there was, sadly, no chaise lounge. Just a very cluttered kitchen with a sink piled high with dirty dishes.<\/p>\n<p>Mara sighed and wondered what she&#8217;d have to do to get the angel into an apron. Could she tell him the feather duster was a sword?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you have anything to&#8230;destroy&#8230;or anything? I have things to do today, and although your companionship is very fulfilling in many ways, I  do have some errands to run and cleaning to do. And a very neglected job. The last time I tried to get anything done, you were in the way. It&#8217;s hard to do any work with a bored giant incubus in the house stomping around.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Samael raised a displeased eyebrow at the word incubus.<br \/>\n&#8220;I do not stomp. I glide. Or fly. Silently. You have voiced your displeasure about my silent arrivals more than once. Nevertheless. Is there anything I may assist you with, my treasure?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Do you know how to sweep? Dust? Feed birds? Buy groceries?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Those are not typically things I am required to do. I can eliminate or attract dust and dirt with a spell if you wish.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Really? Cool! Eliminate away!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Samael lifted a hand slightly and muttered a few strange words. Several potted plants collapsed, but the floors, windows, shelves and other surfaces did look dramatically cleaner. <\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s amazing. The plants need dirt to grow in, though. Can you put some dirt back in the plants?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Not with a spell. The dirt no longer exists.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Do angels get any sort of practical training? Can you use a shovel?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I could slice you into three equal pieces with my sword before you realize you are even dead.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well. That&#8217;s sweet, and I&#8217;m sure it&#8217;s very practical in certain situations. I&#8217;m not sure how helpful that will be in cleaning the house though.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I do not wish to slice you into three pieces, of course. But I could if I needed to.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Let&#8217;s try not to end up there, Sami.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I wish you wouldn&#8217;t call me that. I am Samael.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And I wish you knew how to wash dishes. We all have our cross to bear.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mara reclined in the sun on her chaise lounge, with a novel and a glass of red wine at her side after a particularly acrobatic evening with Samael who did not appear to be the least bit tired. He never was. In fact, he was full of energy in spite of having cleaned both of &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3959\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">How do you train an angel?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3959","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-11R","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8276,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8276","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":0},"title":"Samael and the hell hound","author":"Michelle","date":"March 4, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 \"But do you love me?\" asked Mara.\u00a0 \u00a0\"I do not understand the human idea of love,\" Samael replied. \u00a0\"I love all of humanity. You are my own. My treasure.\"\u00a0 Mara sighed, then smiled. Angels were apparently no better about answering simple questions than human men, but she had definitely\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/IMG_2470-0.jpg?fit=341%2C391&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":8036,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=8036","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":1},"title":"Mara and the clouds","author":"Michelle","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Mara sat on the front porch swinging her feet and looked up at one of those dense puffy gray clouds. She wondered out loud about how inviting and soft they look. \"No, they're thick and cold,\" said Samael. \"Unimaginably cold. When you fly through them, it's completely dark and the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5788,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5788","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":2},"title":"Mara, Cara and Samael go to Burning Man","author":"Michelle","date":"May 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Mara and Cara are kicking their feet up on the porch swing at Mara's house, drinking tequila and grapefruit juice and watching Samael split firewood with a certain amount of justifiable admiration. \"He's awfully good at all of the boy work,\" said Mara, \"and he doesn't even sweat. I bet\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9482,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9482","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":3},"title":"How do you name a hell hound?","author":"Michelle","date":"March 8, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Mara was not a morning person. She'd also had a very eventful night, what with Samael wrestling Evil right there in the bedroom and all. So it was really not a surprise when she stumbled on the enormous dog that was sleeping on the floor next to her bed. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4119,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4119","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":4},"title":"What happens in Vegas is  forgotten in Vegas","author":"Michelle","date":"February 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Mara and Cara are on the floor, their clothes nowhere to be seen. Cara sits up, moans, and opens her eyes as slowly as possible. It might still be practically dark outside, but that is still far too much light for her massively hungover head. Cara has many questions of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3326,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3326","url_meta":{"origin":3959,"position":5},"title":"Nothing ruins a good sulk like an angel","author":"Michelle","date":"January 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Mara thought she was overdue for a really good sulk. An epic sulk. Maybe with some additional foot stomping, or would that make it a tantrum? Hmm. Maybe what she was really in the mood for was a tantrum. There really wasn't anyone around to inflict the tantrum on though.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Words&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3959","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3959"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3959\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3959"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3959"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3959"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}