{"id":4272,"date":"2014-03-03T02:35:50","date_gmt":"2014-03-03T10:35:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=4272"},"modified":"2014-03-02T21:28:08","modified_gmt":"2014-03-03T05:28:08","slug":"wishing-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4272","title":{"rendered":"Wish I may, wish I might"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t wanna be a loser
\nI don’t wanna be an almost was
\n–Everclear\/Rock Star<\/p>\n

Wishing to be different than you are creates unhappiness.
\n–Various <\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This is something that all the inspirational quote pushers seem to harp on. It seems to be sort of a near-Gospel “truth” that we can only be happy if we love ourselves the way we are, and stop wanting to be different. <\/p>\n

Like many ideas, I both agree and disagree. There’s a balance to find. <\/p>\n

Wishing there were things about me that were different does not automatically mean I will be unhappy. Wishing and not doing anything about it might. Wishing and hating myself might. Telling myself I suck because of it might. <\/p>\n

On the other hand, it could also make me improve myself, learn something new or make a needed change in my life. If you are content with everything about yourself, maybe you’ll become stagnant. Maybe you won’t achieve everything you could. Or keep drinking too much.<\/p>\n

Let’s take being fat as an example. First off, I’m going to refer to myself as fat. Hope no one gets all upset about that. For me, it’s a descriptive.
\nI don’t hate myself because I’m fat, but I do recognize that I am.<\/p>\n

There could be a lot of reasons I might want to change that particular aspect of myself that have nothing to do with self-hate or unhappiness. Maybe I want to improve my health or have an easier time finding cute outfits. Taking steps to learn to eat sensibly and make better decisions about what I eat would potentially lead to a change. For those steps to happen, I’d have to wish I was different. It doesn’t follow that I would become unhappy as a result.<\/p>\n

There are, I think, some changes to wish for that can be very good. Wishing something was different can be very positive. Daydreams put into plans can lead to good change. Learning to be more positive, patient or tolerant would tend to make you more rather than less happy if that’s a change you wished for and came up with a plan to do it. <\/p>\n

There are other aspects of yourself that can’t be changed. Your age. Your ethnicity. Eye color. Skin color. The type of hair you have. Wishing they were different would tend to make you very unhappy. <\/p>\n

Ask any 16 year old girl.<\/p>\n

Wishing for change can be a catalyst if approached in the right way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t wanna be a loser I don’t wanna be an almost was –Everclear\/Rock Star Wishing to be different than you are creates unhappiness. –Various This is something that all the inspirational quote pushers seem to harp on. It seems to be sort of a near-Gospel “truth” that we can only be happy if we … Continue reading Wish I may, wish I might<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Wish I may, wish I might http:\/\/wp.me\/p4FR8-16U","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-16U","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4920,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4920","url_meta":{"origin":4272,"position":0},"title":"Oh, expectations","author":"Michelle","date":"April 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Between a lover and a fighter With my pen and my electric typewriter Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal I'd still own the film rights and be working on the sequel --Elvis Costello\/Every Day I Write The Book One of the things that can get a what-iffer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/20140413-174814.jpg?fit=239%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10666,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10666","url_meta":{"origin":4272,"position":1},"title":"Birthdays and gratitude","author":"Michelle","date":"November 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"My love of birthdays is no secret to anyone. 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Personal upheaval will do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2128,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2128","url_meta":{"origin":4272,"position":5},"title":"Be vewwy, vewwy quiet","author":"Michelle","date":"October 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"It would be erroneous to say Sohrab was quiet. Quiet is peace. Tranquility. Quiet is turning down the volume knob on life. Silence is pushing the off button. Shutting it down. 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