I’m cold.
\nSometimes you are.
\nWhat?
\nSometimes you’re cold.
\nCold?
\nYeah. Sometimes you’re kind of cold.
\nWow. OK. I just meant that I forgot to wear a jacket. What do you mean sometimes I’m cold? Like emotionally?
\n…
\n…
\nHow am I cold?
\nYou just said. Physically.
\nAh.
\nWhat?
\nNothing.
\nWhat!?
\nAre you doing this just to piss me off?
\nDoing what?
\nBecause I can’t decide if you are really that clueless or if you’re just getting off on being a button pusher today.
\nWhat!?
\nI’m not emotionally cold at all right now, just so you know.
\nThat’s good.
\nIs it?
\nNo.
\nYou’re not going to even try to explain what you meant, are you?
\nAre you kidding?
\nNo.
\nI value my life too much.
\nIt’s a good thing I like your family.
\nWhy?
\nBecause it’s keeping me from strangling you through the phone.
\nYou couldn’t anyway.
\nYou’re right. It’d be much more satisfying in person.
\nThat was cold. See?
\nYou’ll be cold shortly after I kill you.
\nRoom temperature, anyway.
\nDick.
\nI love you.
\nSuch a dick.
\nYou love me, too.
\nThere must be something wrong with me.
\nYou’re perfect, as long as you remember your jacket.
\nIt’s not too late for me to kill you, you know.
\nNah. You’d have done it already. You’re used to me now.
\nBaby, there IS no getting used to you.
\nIt’s one of your favorite things about me.
\nNo. My favorite thing about you is that you make me laugh.
\nLike now?
\nRight now it’s more of a grimace.
\nThat’s not like a laugh at all.
\nYou’re doing a really shitty job.
\nIt’s more of a hobby.
\nThere you go. That made me laugh.
\nGood girl.
\nGet off my phone.
\nYou called me, remember?
\nGood-bye George.
\nGood-bye, Clarence.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"