{"id":4475,"date":"2014-03-15T05:00:17","date_gmt":"2014-03-15T12:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=4475"},"modified":"2014-03-14T22:08:10","modified_gmt":"2014-03-15T05:08:10","slug":"mental-love-handles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4475","title":{"rendered":"Mental lovehandles"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m worried now, but it won’t be long.
\nIt takes a worried man, you know, to sing a worried song.
\n–Old 97’s\/Big Brown Eyes<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sometimes things I do or say have unexpected results. I think I’ve mentioned how I like talking back to inspirational quotes before. It’s sort of a minor hobby. I follow purveyors of inspiring quotations on Twitter and comment on them. Yes, it’s dumb, but it keeps me from arguing with real people. Except that it doesn’t at all. Anyway, The other night I commented about one that said:<\/p>\n

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I responded that it was better to expand your mind than your waist and then got a response from someone pointing out that it’s hard to get rid of mental love handles.<\/p>\n

That’s just great–now I have something new to worry about. Well, not new. I’ve always worried about my mind being lazy. I worry about losing my memory. I also worry about getting trapped inside of my mind with a completely immobile body and people not realizing that my mind is still fine. Well, that’s really a different story innit?<\/p>\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n

Mental lovehandles. It’s a good phrase. No one wants a flabby brain. <\/p>\n

I already have a flabby body, so I do not need mental flab at all. If my steady regimen of reading and writing doesn’t help prevent mental lovehandles, I am kind of screwed. Should I do Sudoku? I hate them. Mind training exercises? Should I start playing that card game where you have to find matching cards? I can’t remember the name of it. Is that the first sign of mental lovehandles? What about excessive questions? If wondering is a sign of dementia, then I definitely have it. Definitely.<\/p>\n

I worry too much.
\nRight?<\/p>\n

Is arguing with the voice in my head considered mental exercise? Because if it is, I will have not problems with brain flab at all. But then, if I get better at this mindfulness shit, the voice inside my head will (supposedly) diminish or even vanish and then what will I do for a mental workout?<\/p>\n

So…
\nMaybe I should start going to the gym.
\nThey might have a brain treadmill I could use.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m worried now, but it won’t be long. It takes a worried man, you know, to sing a worried song. –Old 97’s\/Big Brown Eyes Sometimes things I do or say have unexpected results. I think I’ve mentioned how I like talking back to inspirational quotes before. It’s sort of a minor hobby. I follow purveyors … Continue reading Mental lovehandles<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Mental lovehandles http:\/\/wp.me\/p4FR8-1ab","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4475","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1ab","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7262,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7262","url_meta":{"origin":4475,"position":0},"title":"An imaginary conversation about imaginary football boyfriends","author":"Michelle","date":"August 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You know what? No. Do you want to? Sure. You don't sound very enthusiastic about it! Maybe I will warm up as the conversation progresses. No pressure. None. OK. So are you going to tell me? What? The thing you were starting to say. Right. What was it? Uh... It's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Football"","block_context":{"text":"Football","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=17"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11594,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11594","url_meta":{"origin":4475,"position":1},"title":"And it’s on…","author":"Michelle","date":"May 20, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Life moves pretty fast. If you don\u2019t stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it. --Ferris Bueller For the last 6 months, or maybe most of my life depending on when you start counting, I've been working toward\u00a0 having surgery that will help me lose weight. 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Are you going to just fling sarcasm at me, or maybe try listening?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9262,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9262","url_meta":{"origin":4475,"position":3},"title":"An imaginary conversation about inviting a man over","author":"Michelle","date":"February 11, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"So you have a second date with that guy? That's cool! Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. What are you going to do? We're going to have lunch and drinks, and then hang out at my place. No. Bad idea. Yes. Good idea. Are you nuts? 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A well read person should have read it.\u00a0You can't read everything.\u00a0No. I can't.\u00a0What got you all wound up about \"King Lear?\"I'm not wound up about it,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Imaginary Conversation"","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10657,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10657","url_meta":{"origin":4475,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about change","author":"Michelle","date":"November 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"You know, I am really not very good at this \"embracing change\" shit.\u00a0 And this is the first time you've noticed it? No. I have known it for quite a while now.\u00a0 And? And...I do try not to freak out about it.\u00a0 Try? Shut up. Yes. Try.\u00a0 And? 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