{"id":4533,"date":"2014-03-21T04:00:59","date_gmt":"2014-03-21T11:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=4533"},"modified":"2014-03-20T17:09:41","modified_gmt":"2014-03-21T00:09:41","slug":"validation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4533","title":{"rendered":"Validation is mine sayeth The Lord. Oh wait, that was me."},"content":{"rendered":"

This has been an excellent week for the sarcastic, foul mouthed fat people of the world. Suck it, goody two shoes.<\/p>\n

First, I read a story somewhere last weekend that indicates that there’s yet another study which shows that dark chocolate is good for you. Then later that same day, a story debunking the link between saturated fats and heart disease. I even read the story from several reputable sources. This cheese loving omnivore was particularly happy to hear about sat fat no longer being evil. <\/p>\n

Then, I read a blurb on Twitter about a new book out by ABC news-dude Dan Harris. It’s called “10% Happier.” The mini-review talked about it as a book on mindfulness\/meditation for the sarcastic. As someone who is interested in mindfulness and meditation and struggles to get through the atrocious word salad published by the big names in the field (Deepak and Ekhart? Yeah, I mean you) I was intrigued enough to buy it. And it was not only a fun read, but mocked the gurus for the very same things I struggled with–following a really great, simple point with several pages of semi-psychotic mystical bullshit, for instance.<\/p>\n

It was the self-help for smart asses <\/a> book that I’ve been looking for! If you’re interested in meditation, but put off by the “woo-woo” around it, check it out. <\/p>\n

What else, what else….I know there was more.<\/p>\n

Oh! Cursing! <\/p>\n

We all know how I love profanity. We all know how I struggle with positive self-talk and shit like daily affirmations. Because who the fuck talks like that? No one! I can’t deal with daily affirmations that don’t sound like me. Know what? The Internet<\/a> now says it’s fine if your mantras sound like you. As it turns out, “Give yourself a fucking break”<\/a> doesn’t suck as a mantra at all. This is such good news, because I was never going to go even partially Stuart Smalley. <\/p>\n

Finally, my personal favorite–there was a joyful sound heard in NW Portland when I read this. It was my soul laughing. Internet, or at least the portion of it at Time magazine, says that tequila will help me lose weight<\/a>. TEQUILA WILL HELP ME LOSE WEIGHT, Y’ALL. TEQUILA! I’m not excited about that at all. No, I’m not worried that I’m fat now in spite of all the tequila I already drink because THINK HOW FAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT THE TEQUILA. No, I’m not worried that the study was done by Mexican researchers who may or may not be in the pockets of the tequila industry. Don’t be a hater. Let me drink my fucking tequila and believe it’s making me thinner. While we’re at it, maybe it’s making me look younger too.<\/p>\n

Ahem.
\nMaybe I should calm down a little.<\/p>\n

NO, you know what I should do?
\nI should give myself a fucking break. That’s what I should fucking do.<\/p>\n

And then I should have a shot of tequila.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This has been an excellent week for the sarcastic, foul mouthed fat people of the world. Suck it, goody two shoes. First, I read a story somewhere last weekend that indicates that there’s yet another study which shows that dark chocolate is good for you. Then later that same day, a story debunking the link … Continue reading Validation is mine sayeth The Lord. Oh wait, that was me.<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1b7","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2981,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2981","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":0},"title":"Nevermind-ful","author":"Michelle","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm not ready as I'll ever be I climb the walls, I fall into the sea I'm not ready as I'll ever be And I suppose your guess is more or less as bad as mine All over but the shouting, just a waste of time Never mind --the Replacements\/Never\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2726,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=2726","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":1},"title":"What does that mean???","author":"Michelle","date":"December 5, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"When I apologized for being too sarcastic today, my coworkers laughed and told me I'm not being any more sarcastic and difficult than I am on any other day?? It's a good sign that they laughed, right? Also, when I was threatening to open a vein (which I do multiple\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5513,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5513","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":2},"title":"The language of positivity","author":"Michelle","date":"May 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Someone at work had a cup of Starbucks with a jacket on it--one of those ones with an inspirational quote on it. You know I have a somewhat rocky relationship with inspirational quotes, right? This particular quote was from Oprah, and it was about the importance of living your passion.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6814,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6814","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":3},"title":"The futility of positive thinking","author":"Michelle","date":"July 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"So I wanted to go back to this. I mentioned it in passing, but it's a bit stuck in my brain gears. Remember Dostoyevsky's polar bear from the other day? I wondered if trying not to think negative thoughts works in much the same way as not thinking about polar\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":746,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=746","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":4},"title":"Do you (re)read me?","author":"Michelle","date":"August 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 I'm writing 'bout the Book I read I have to sing about the Book I read I'm embarrassed to admit it hit the soft spot in my heart When I found out you wrote the Book I read --Talking Heads\/The Book I Read \u00a0 What does a person do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":10032,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10032","url_meta":{"origin":4533,"position":5},"title":"0200 Daniel Boone and the moon","author":"Michelle","date":"May 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Wake up at 0150 because I am female and fifty-one, and drenched in sweat.\u00a0 Get up and take a shower.\u00a0 Come back to bed, see a missed call from a cute guy.\u00a0 Why would someone call at 0124 and not leave a message? Why would someone call at 0124 at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Random thoughts"","block_context":{"text":"Random thoughts","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=20"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4533"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4533\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}