{"id":5530,"date":"2014-05-04T05:00:59","date_gmt":"2014-05-04T12:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=5530"},"modified":"2015-05-03T17:48:37","modified_gmt":"2015-05-04T00:48:37","slug":"imaginary-conv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5530","title":{"rendered":"As the worm turns, an imaginary conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>You don&#8217;t scare me, you know. <\/p>\n<p>Do too.<\/p>\n<p>Aren&#8217;t you going to ask me why?<\/p>\n<p>Why?<\/p>\n<p>Curiosity?<\/p>\n<p>About why you aren&#8217;t scared of me? <\/p>\n<p>No.<br \/>\nYes.<br \/>\nWhat?<\/p>\n<p>You <em>are<\/em> scared of me. I terrify you. <\/p>\n<p>Terrify is a strong word. Sometimes I don&#8217;t know quite what to make of you. Puzzled is different from scared. <\/p>\n<p>Why are you puzzled?<\/p>\n<p>You don&#8217;t react to things like a normal person. Conversation tends to go all wonky. <\/p>\n<p>What do you mean?<\/p>\n<p>Well, right now things are pretty normal. In a minute, there&#8217;s a pretty good chance that you&#8217;ll say something bizarre. <\/p>\n<p>Like what?<\/p>\n<p>I dunno. I&#8217;m not the one who says the weird shit. <\/p>\n<p>What???<\/p>\n<p>What?<\/p>\n<p>You say weird shit all the time!<\/p>\n<p>No, you do.<\/p>\n<p>You are the one who starts it though. <\/p>\n<p>You said you voted for Pedro when we were talking about worms. <\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s not a good example. That conversation started out weird. We were talking about worms. <\/p>\n<p>I started that one, didn&#8217;t I. <\/p>\n<p>Yep. <\/p>\n<p>You may have a point.<\/p>\n<p>I prefer to think of myself as well rounded. And don&#8217;t raise your eyebrow at me.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t help it. It&#8217;s an autonomous nerve response, like breathing. <\/p>\n<p>You made that up. <\/p>\n<p>So?<\/p>\n<p>Isn&#8217;t that like lying? <\/p>\n<p>No, it&#8217;s like storytelling. <\/p>\n<p>Is it a fine line?<\/p>\n<p>Did you think for even a second that the movement of my eyebrow is not something I am able to control?<\/p>\n<p>No. <\/p>\n<p>Then it&#8217;s not a fine line. <\/p>\n<p>That is NOT how that works.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m not the one who started talking about worms!<\/p>\n<p>Tequila. You brought worms into it. Although it&#8217;s an admittedly logical progression. <\/p>\n<p>See? Normal. <\/p>\n<p>But then you started talking about someone&#8217;s second van the hospital. <\/p>\n<p>Not my fault. That was the phone. I told you Siri does weird shit. <\/p>\n<p>And it was funny. <\/p>\n<p>Thanks. <\/p>\n<p>What are we talking about, anyway?<\/p>\n<p>Why you scare me. <\/p>\n<p>Now you&#8217;re just making stuff up. <\/p>\n<p>Storytelling. <\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s my line. <\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll share it though, right. <\/p>\n<p>Only if you tell me a story. <\/p>\n<p>Once upon a time?<\/p>\n<p>That&#8217;s a start&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p><meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@site_username\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Michelle's House of Horrors\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"Perhaps. Maybe. Who knows?\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@creator_username\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image:src\" content=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/20140416-195336.jpg\" \/><br \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:domain\" content=\"MichelleJolin.com\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You don&#8217;t scare me, you know. Do too. Aren&#8217;t you going to ask me why? Why? Curiosity? About why you aren&#8217;t scared of me? No. Yes. What? You are scared of me. I terrify you. Terrify is a strong word. Sometimes I don&#8217;t know quite what to make of you. Puzzled is different from scared. &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5530\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">As the worm turns, an imaginary conversation<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"As the worm turns, an imaginary conversation\r\n\r\n#SayWhat #TalkToMe\r\n http:\/\/wp.me\/p4FR8-1rc","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[18,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5530","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-imaginary-conversation","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7lr3R-1rc","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":11471,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11471","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":0},"title":"An imaginary conversation about compliments","author":"Michelle","date":"April 10, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"So the other night, this guy told me he likes me because our conversations are random and weird. Oh, I'm sorry! Why? It was a great compliment. It was? Sometimes I don't think you know me at all... You do say weird things a lot. Right. And it's one of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6200,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=6200","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":1},"title":"an imaginary talk about shit and ideas","author":"Michelle","date":"June 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"How do you find something different to write every day? Don't you run out of ideas? I am always one post away from my last idea. I feel like I repeat myself sometimes and have to search back and make sure I am not plagiarizing myself. What will you if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/06\/20140623-200934-72574032.jpg?fit=454%2C313&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10940,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=10940","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":2},"title":"An imaginary conversation about upheaval at work","author":"Michelle","date":"November 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"My work BFF is moving to a different team and my heart is broken. Aren\u2019t you happy for her? Yes. I am super excited, and it is a fantastic move for her! But she sits next to me now and I love her and next week she won\u2019t be there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7644,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7644","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":3},"title":"An imaginary conversation about dating","author":"Michelle","date":"September 24, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You know what I would like to know? What? How do you even know when you're on a date and not just out with a friend of the opposite sex? Seriously? I'm a dating dumb ass. Humor me. Are you making out at some point after you've spent time together?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":11126,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=11126","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":4},"title":"An imaginary conversation about obsessing","author":"Michelle","date":"February 20, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Should I accept that I am someone who obsesses over things or try to change it? That's quite a launching point for a chat. Sorry. Hi. How are you? Good thanks. You? Obsessing. You? Shaking my head. Thanks for asking. You're welcome. You're weird. No shit. What are you obsessing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7991,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=7991","url_meta":{"origin":5530,"position":5},"title":"An imaginary conversation about what is wrong with me","author":"Michelle","date":"October 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As my emotional attorney, I feel that it is your duty to advise me on why I am having so much weird shit happen every time I am around men. I didn't know you were even dating anyone. I'm not. Then how can you be having a bad time with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Imaginary Conversation&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Imaginary Conversation","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=18"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5530","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5530"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5530\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5530"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5530"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5530"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}