{"id":591,"date":"2013-08-02T06:02:10","date_gmt":"2013-08-02T13:02:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/michellejolin.com\/wordpress\/?p=591"},"modified":"2013-08-01T18:44:18","modified_gmt":"2013-08-02T01:44:18","slug":"591","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=591","title":{"rendered":"And all I ever meant to do was to keep you"},"content":{"rendered":"

And under the boughs unbowed
\nAll clothed in a snowy shroud
\nShe had no heart so hardened
\nAll under the boughs unbowed<\/p>\n

Each feather it fell from skin
\nTill threadbare while she grew thin<\/p>\n

–the Decemberists\/the Crane Wife 3<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sound the keening bell
\nTo see it’s painted red
\nSoft as fontanel
\nThe feathers in the thread
\nAnd all I ever meant to do was to keep you<\/p>\n

–the Decemberists\/the Crane Wife 1 and 2<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sometimes you love someone and end up hurting them without meaning any harm. Maybe there is something fundamental about them you didn’t understand,\u00a0 Maybe you didn’t understand what the cost would be to them or to yourself for letting something continue.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I only wanted to…<\/p>\n

I just meant to….<\/p>\n

All I wanted was to…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Followed with the almost inevitable<\/p>\n

I never meant to…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keep you. Not lose you. Stay with you. Be near you. Love you.<\/p>\n

Love you.<\/p>\n

Not<\/p>\n

Hurt you. Kill you. Break your heart.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

In an English class, about a million years ago, a teacher once told us that what makes a merely\u00a0 sad story tragic is\u00a0 inevitability.\u00a0 Romeo and Juliet have to die. There’s no way around it.<\/p>\n

I’m not sure that’s true.<\/p>\n

Is it the inevitability that makes it tragic, or the heartbreak?<\/p>\n

Certainly a certain amount of heartbreak is inevitable if you have a heart that feels anything at all.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Isn’t it?<\/p>\n

Inevitable.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

People come together and offer each other their gifts, and their flaws.<\/p>\n

We don’t always knows what the gifts are really worth, or how much the flaws draw from us.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, we find out and it’s too late.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

How were my eyes so blinded?
\nEach feather it fell from skin<\/p>\n

And I will hang my head low.<\/p>\n

–the Decemberists\/the Crane Wife 3<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

And under the boughs unbowed All clothed in a snowy shroud She had no heart so hardened All under the boughs unbowed Each feather it fell from skin Till threadbare while she grew thin –the Decemberists\/the Crane Wife 3   Sound the keening bell To see it’s painted red Soft as fontanel The feathers in … Continue reading And all I ever meant to do was to keep you<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-music","category-words"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s7lr3R-591","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":758,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=758","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":0},"title":"Sad songs say so much","author":"Michelle","date":"August 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 I'm causing a mild sensation With this new occupation I'm permanently glued To this extraordinary mood so now move over Let me take over With my melancholy blues --Queen\/Melancholy Blues \u00a0 I was singing along with the iPod on my way home from work (as usual) and decided something:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Music"","block_context":{"text":"Music","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=9"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9965,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9965","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":1},"title":"At the park","author":"Michelle","date":"May 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"I got a kiss from a golden retriever puppy. I saw dandelion fluff floating Train tracks. Crickets. Tall redwoods, and just when I was feeling very small a man passed on a longboard and made me feel even smaller. Paths curving, and paths straightway and nothing ever really is as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/06\/image-e1431238560545.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3548,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=3548","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":2},"title":"There is no spoon. I mean there is no true or false.","author":"Michelle","date":"January 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Time to change has come and gone Watched your fears become your god It's your decision, it's your decision --Alice In Chains\/Your Decision Recently I was having a discussion with someone who doesn't know me well. He insisted that I see everything as black or white, which makes me decide\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5407,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=5407","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":3},"title":"Being complicit with evil","author":"Michelle","date":"April 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"There is a recurring nightmare that I have been having since the mid '90's. Not regularly, but every several years it makes an appearance. Sometimes it returns over a period of several weeks. It is never a welcome visitor. In the beginning, it's always an airport. It's always the middle\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/michellejolin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/20140426-134324.jpg?fit=225%2C300&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4390,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=4390","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":4},"title":"Standing up and standing out","author":"Michelle","date":"March 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This little light of mine I'm going to let it shine Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine --This Little Light Of Mine\/Harry Dixon Loes As a kid, I was very introverted, but for as long as I can remember, I looked forward to finally being able to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9712,"url":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?p=9712","url_meta":{"origin":591,"position":5},"title":"Sometimes yes means no","author":"Michelle","date":"April 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Your lips say no, no, no but your eyes say yes, yes, yes.... --Every douchebag Casanova wanna-be, including Pepe le Pew \u00a0 Without belaboring the point, I will acknowledge that on occasion people do say no when they mean yes: No, I don't want dessert...but I am planning on eating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Words"","block_context":{"text":"Words","link":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=591"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/591\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/michellejolin.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}